Just a prediction…

….buuut, I’m guessing this might turn out to be the longest summer for me EVER.

So yeah, I’ll start.

Dear Summer….Really?  Already?!

You’d think that running between 6-7am would be the responsible, smart thing to do in these kinds of temperatures.  Get out while the getting is good.  Guess what?  It wasn’t even remotely good then.

Totally accurate weather forecast.

Actually here is the ACTUAL FREAKING WEATHER from this morning…right about the time I was wheezing my way back up my driveway from a sluggish 6k run.  Yes SIX.  That’s it.  (And yet somehow I still lived to tell.)

I really thought it would be my increasingly gargantuan belly that would do me in on the running scene…not you, dear summer.  Old friend.  I already hate winter….it just doesn’t feel right to begrudge my beloved warmth and sunshine too.  But c’mon, at least give me the early mornings before the blinding heat sets in, mkay?

Great.  Good talk.

BUT all of this heat is making me even more excited for my next little attempt at staying upright (when all I really want to do is curl up on top of the AC vent).  Hello deep water running classes!

I’ve signed up to VOLUNTARILY squeeze myself into a one-piece in public (OMFG) to take part in an oh-so awesome deep water running course running throughout July and August.  Fries n’gravy, if I’m going to look like a whale, I might as well go balls to the wall and make it authentic by flapping around in a semi-large body of water too.

Actually, because my cycling instruction days are now on the decline and the angry sun is going to make it next to impossible to run outdoors sooner than later, I really wanted something that would be active, fun and totally manageable EVEN if you are smuggling a watermelon under your swim suit.  I did the same class years ago with Hooles and then recently tried it again for the Exercise Diaries and really liked it both times.  So if you are wondering what the deuce it’s all about, pop over to read my recap here.  And if morbid curiosity is calling to you about what a 30-something year old woman would look like when stuffed into sausage casing, join the class!  It’ll be like a wave pool once I get flailing around in there.  FUN!

Warning: front row may get wet.


Mini-Muffin baking progress

Baby bumpin’ at 22 weeks

What’s been going on lately…

  • Bump – The bump has arrived!  Funny how one day you just wake up and all of a sudden your belly can no longer be attributed to pretzels and soup bloating.  Mini-Muffin is starting to stretch out and take up some space.  Speaking of, at 22 weeks the little fetal beetle is about 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost a whopping 1 pound.  So maybe this belly is a biiiit pretzels afterall….and frozen yogurt.
  • Mood – I feel great.  Seriously.  I’m not sure if the hormonal crying comes later or what, but so far I’ve only been crying at the really important, cry-worthy things.  Yes, a voicemail from Dudes is important and a guy with a stutter on “America’s Got Talent” is totally cry-worthy.
  • Exercise – I’m managing to run a couple times a week, do Body Pump and will still be teaching cycling for a couple more weeks.  My hope is to run for as long as I can however this past week was the first time I had a bit of discomfort afterwards.  I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that things are getting a little heavier up in here.
  • Food – yes, please!
  • On the to-do list – research maternity support belts to find out if they are worth the moula and will actually provide some extra support during sweat sessions.  So anyone…tips?
  • What I’m loving – Maternity pants.  Seriously.  It’s like a whole new world of comfort.  It’s so nice not to have to rock, paper, scissors with myself over what pair of jeans I should try and jam myself into each day.  I may never go back. (Muffin, I’m sorry that I’m not sorry)
  • What I’m annoyed with – Not being able to sleep on my back.  I’m a back sleeper and every.single.freaking.night I wake up in a panic because I’m on my back again.  (TWSS)

Oh and one last thing…did I mention that this sweet little thing is made of sugar and spice and all things nice?

It’s a girl!

Tutus and ruffled leg warmers here we come!  Because we’ll have to match, right?


Ah shoot.  Sometimes (like very rarely) my ability to convey sarcasm in writing falls short.  I know, I’m having a hard time believing it myself.

However, much to my surprise, I discovered after reading some comments and texts that I may have led some folks into thinking I’ve accomplished waaaay more than I actually have in the last few weeks.

Remember this little line from my post a few weeks ago“I ran a couple of marathons, learned to knit AND drive standard, and dug a pool in our backyard, but that’s about it.  No biggie smalls.”

Full disclosure – I did none of those things.  In fact I thought that that list was so impossibly outrageous that my joke would be hilariously apparent.  Apparently not.  Apparently some of you (some of my very most quick-witted readers I might add) have much higher hopes for me.  Silly gooses.

So no, my 2012 goals of learning to knit and drive standard have not come to fruition (YET) and even more upsetting, we are not getting a pool.  Sorry Shannaners, the mini-pool (aka: lukewarm hot tub) will have to do for now.

“Slide back to the wall! You are blocking the bubble jets! Repeat! You are blocking the bubble jets!”

Okaaaay, after that little slap to the ego about all of the things I haven’t done, let’s get on with what I have done.  (Equally impressive…don’t worry.)  <– See?  That’s sarcasm.

1) Hang out with awesome house guests (Come back soon, McKivies!) – check.

2) Pilfer entire maternity wardrobe from super generous post-preggos (thanks Mrs’ Boa, Bravo and Laporte!) – check.

3) Get pumpity-pumped for this weekend’s house guests (Welcome home, Gornacs!) – check.

4) Deal with the fact that all of my summer social events will be spent sober.  All of them.  – working on it.

Or “I’ll be less of a raging, pouty bitch…”

If Snooki can do it, I can do it.

(Stay sober, that is.)

And lastly,

5), keep on truckin’ – check.  I’ve managed to keep up with my workouts on a fairly consistent basis so far.  For sure there are mornings that I just don’t feel like running, so I don’t.  But for the most part, I’ve managed at least 2-3 runs per week and they range from about 6k – 10k.  And truthfully, I have never been happier to have running partners.  They are by far the only reason I’m still running.

Each solo run I do is either a) cancelled by moi, or b) total crap.

So if you are feeling large and in charge (Like some of us are.  Shut up.) or are just lacking a bit of motivation, your first step is to get a partner STAT and then keep your mind off that shit.  Would you rather spend your run stressing about if it’s physically possible for legs to actually spontaneously fall off OR spend it chatting away about boobs and placentas*?  (*subject matter left to the runners’ discretion)

I know what I would pick.  (And Hooles and Jen, thanks for letting me talk about boobs and placentas with you.)

Speaking of, I’ll be adding a meggo-preggo update on the mini-Muffin this weekend!  (Pinky swear, not a peep about my “lacenta-pay”.  There is such a thing as TMI…Hi Gramps!)

Hey runner girl

Have I mentioned how much I love the “Hey runner girl” blog?

Sultry looks + inside jokes = my very own special moments with R-Gos.


Wha Happa?

I was a bit shocked when I wandered over here to FunnerRunner and discovered that it’s been almost a MONTH since my last post.  I knew I had been slacking a bit, but c’mon…that’s just a little ridiculous.

So my apologies.

BUT! the good news is that you haven’t missed much.  I ran a couple of marathons, learned to knit AND drive standard, and dug a pool in our backyard, but that’s about it.  No biggie smalls.

But outside of all of that awesomeness, I have been up to some (actual) stuff.  So without further ado, let’s just see…


  • I made freaking trifle.  You’d think that I had cured cancer the way I have been up-talking this feat, but no, just assembled some ingredients to pull off a dish only marginally better than Rachel’s.  You see, the impetus behind making this dessert for my April recipe of the month was that I thought that I had received a trifle dish for Christmas last year.  Turns out that it was a punch bowl.  Don’t ask.  Being the Masterchef that I am, I went with it.  Guess what?  It takes a hella lot more fruit and cake to layer a punch bowl than a trifle dish.  By the last layer, I had used every piece of fruit in the house (frozen, fresh, green peas dipped in sugar…) to scrape together something that looked remotely triflin’.  Thank mercy Cool Whip makes everything taste ok, so although it looked like a giant bowl of randomness, it tasted just dandy.  Masterchef tip #1 – just add Cool Whip.  (And say it like Stewie)  Here’s the recipe that I had intended on following (before dipping into weird fruit territory).

My mammoth trifle

Aerial view…yes, that is an ENTIRE pineapple on the top layer.

  • I started CrossFit.  Well, kinda.  I started the beginner “on-ramp” program because the lovelies at CrossFit Kawartha offered it to me at no cost as part of The Exercise Diaries.  I’m just trekking my way through it right now, but first impressions are that I would totally, totally do this all the time (if I wasn’t getting more mego-p by the day).  The two instructors/owners are awesome and the actual CrossFitters are bad ass.  You can read my intro post about it here…more to come once I wrap up the on-ramp program next week.  If you’ve never heard of CrossFit, head on over to YouTube to check out the bad-assery of it.

We actually did these this week.

  • I committed to biking to work for the month of May as part of our local Shifting Gears competition.  I even got a new-to-me bike on Kijiji so that I don’t have to ride my super speedy/death-trap pedals road bike.  And I soon realized that biking to work sucks.  I rode my bike the first two days and that’s it so far.  Yikes.  So my goal is to ride at least three times next week, but like I said, it sucks.  Not so much the biking (however it turns out that my sweet Kijiji bargain weighs about 80 times more than my speedster so that’s not helping) but I hate packing my outfit, trying to leave early so that I’m not late(r), getting changed in the bathroom stall, having sweaty helmet bangs all day, not having access to my car after work for errands, and so on.  I could never live in Europe…Tour de Work = annoying.  But apparently biking is good for me and an “easy” way to keep the ol’ legs moving.  We’ll see.
  • We had an ultrasound!  Our mini-muffin seems to be truckin’ along quite nicely and was wriggling away during the exam.  Hooray!  Almost halfway already – I can’t believe how quickly these first few months have gone by.  That said, I’m pretty sure the gals who hugged the toilet for the first 12 weeks could shank me for saying that, but so far I’m digging this pregnancy job.  (Ask me that after this long weekend when I’m ready to shank all of my tipsy friends in a sobriety induced rage.)

Mini muff @ 18 weeks

  • And lastly, I said goodbye.  Our dearest Dudes and T-Money have made their way westward and I’ve lost my mid-week workout, shopping, WINE and bitch partner, not too mention THE weekend go-to gal.  The good news is that those brother-husbands we scooped have bound us for life!!  Muwahaha!  It might not be a Wednesday WINE session, but I’ll see you very  soon and very often, dearest Dudes.  Love and misses to you both already!

Ignore B-Mac in the middle…we always miss him.

And one more because I’m hormonal and weepy and feeling all nostalgic.

Just doing what we do best…looking retardo.

In running news…

In case anyone is keeping track, you may have noticed that the Smiths Falls Spring Fling Running Thing has come and gone…with ne’er a word from yours truly.  (PS – Thank omgoodness because I am so sick of googling the name of that freaking race because I can never freaking remember what freaking order the rhymes go in)

Try spelling it

Yes, I wimped out.  Took the chicken’s route.  Declared myself in a delicate state and begged for a refund.  Which, much to my delight, I actually received.  Thank you race organizers! (…even though the name of your race is highly irritating for lazy, forgetful people like me)  I’m a bit sad however about the whole thing.  I would have liked to get one more training season and big race under my belt before giving it up for awhile.  But honestly, I just couldn’t wrap my head around pushing my body really hard at the moment.   A half-marathon is still a challenging distance for me and I really didn’t want to tarnish my outstanding race resultsAhem.  (Of course I’m kidding…all of my impressive-ish times were lost when I changed to my married name and started racing with the additional newlywed 15lbs.  The good stuff is under “Boot“).

Ack, I’m way off topic.

Moral of the story – I wimped out of my half-marathon because of the fetal beetle and am kind of regretting it.  Because really, I could have trained and just puttered along, yelling “I’m running for two, JACKASS!” as elderly women ran by me.  Maybe another time.  Pity party for one, please.

Suck it, fatso.

But in happy running news, I’ve managed to coerce not one, but TWO lucky duckies to run with me on a weekly basis.  The first is Hooles, who you may recall as my original running-partner-in-crime.  After I hurt my IT band a few years ago, followed up by Hooles’ no return policy on the carrying and birthing of awesome little B-rock, our goals really didn’t line up so we were forced to hang out over wine and camping vs. running dates.  But we’re back baby!  With neither of us really wanting (or capable of ) more than just some company and to get a few kilometers in, we’re the perfect pair again.  That is until I balloon up and she leaves me in the dust.  But for now, I’m loving our Thursday evening run/gab/wheeze sessions.

Hooles and FunnerRunner = * N SYNC

Secondly, I have a brand spanking new Wednesday morning running partner.  We’ve known each other from the gym for a few years but we just never put it together that “hey, I like running! And you like running! Shall we?”.  So for the past two weeks we’ve headed out for 6am runs and it’s great.  You never know what it’ll be like running with someone new…will we have stuff to talk about?  Are we similar in pace/goals/distance?  Will she look better than me in spandex? Does this mean I have to brush my teeth first?  (Answers: yes, yes, yes, and yes)  There are so many things that need to come together to make a good running pair.  Like an onion really…the layers, the depth, the tears.  So the next time you see two people running together, feel free to give ’em the old slow clap just to let them know that you know it’s not as easy as it looks.

My hope is that these two ladies will keep me accountable and motivated, because cheese n’ rice, we all know I need something other than willpower to get me out the door.

PS – I really did tackle trifle.  This building up business doesn’t mean that it’s an awesome story.  But guess what, you’ll get to hear it anyway!

Did you run in the Smiths Falls Springy Flingy Stupid Wordy race?  How did it go?

Have you ever registered for a race, and then faked a pregnancy to get out of it?  (KIDDING MOM! Pick Eduardo up off the floor…)

Just a little slice of lemon (pinky promise)!

So I guess a little bigger than a jelly bean...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your big, fat, warm wishes this week!

And as much as Muffin and I enjoyed reading all of your comments and congratulation notes, it certainly was a quick reminder that shit just got real up in here.  Or at least it will come October.  So, yeah, thanks…  😉

So. very. real.

Kidding aside, obviously we’re super excited and can’t wait to share every gory little detail with you and the rest of the world via the internet!  (Feel free to unsubscribe now.  I would.)

No…wait.  That’s not likely to happen at all.  (RE-SUBSCRIBE! RE-SUBSCRIBE!!!) I have a hard enough time sharing juuuust enough personal information here to still be able to show my face around the office, so I’m not about to start talking about gas and nipples and other frightening pregnancy related things that my know-it-all “friends” have shared with me already.

That’s just not my bag, baby. (<– not a “baby” reference, just me being my cool self.)

Nope.  This is a running blog…that may or may not mention running for weeks at a time..and that’s the way I intend to keep it, DANG NABBIT!!  I’m hoping to run for as long as it feels good* and fill you in with relevant, won’t scare my dude friends away from me forever, hilarious! updates as they ensue.  (*as good as running ever feels…in the summer…after you grow cankles and add a thousand pounds to a 5’2″ frame).

Did I say a thousand pounds? Maybe a thousand-ish.

So don’t be scared away by the new header and category tag…it’s true I am a meggo-preggo, but I’m going to try to be a FunnerRunner for as long as I can hang in there.  Wish me luck and stay tuned!

Stay with me - I promise not to be annoying! (At least not more annoying than usual!)

PS – Coming up this week…an update on the Smiths Falls Spring Fling Running Thing race, new running buddies and I tackle trifle (figuratively)!

Jelly Bean{s}

Lemme tell ya…I jelly bean’d it up this weekend!

First, there was my 10k Jelly Bean virtual race on Friday.  I would love to give you a riveting race recap, but essentially I ran the same 10k route that I have been running for years.  Surprises that don’t involve me opening presents don’t really interest me, so I usually stick to what I know won’t kill my legs or get me lost in the ghettos of the P-dot.  Same wonderful slight decline at the start, same creepy cemetery to make me hustle up, same main street riffraff to elbow through.  I was feeling pretty good, despite having Body Pumped and ran with the lovely Hooles the day before.  And sadly in this case, feeling good = not an awesome finishing time for me.  I clocked a sluggish 57:45…but in reality was just trying to justify extra jelly bean consumption over the next three days.  So, the Jelly Bean 10k – a success!

Slow and steady for this turtle

Moving onwards and upwards (actually eastwards) to the family homestead for the long weekend / excessive food binge coma…

As MY LOYAL READERS would know, I don’t run well at Mimded and Eduardo’s house.  It’s scary, it’s smelly and, let’s face it, I’m lazy.  So in an effort to ensure that I got my not-so mini egg’d rear out on the pavement, I made plans with Harv, my high school bestie, to take on the Jelly Bean 5k together!  (The Jelly Bean race has four events to choose from: a 5k, 10k, 21k run and 21k bike.  You can do as many or as few as you like.)  After she untangled herself from the small village of babies that occupy her living room (aka her offspring) we were off.  At this point I was happy to be running, but so, so, so happy to be running with Harvalicious.  It was so good to catch up, even if we were wheezing throughout the whole gossip session.  Between my Thursday reunion with Hooles and my race with Harv – I was in running buddy heaven!  Two running dates with best girlies in one week?!  Yes, please!  It makes me wonder why I tackled 2011km all on my lonesome?  (I’m an idiot is basically all I could come up with too)  So the Jelly Bean 5k – a success!

Even more funner with more runners

Obviously the rest of my weekend was spent lounging, snorting candy and inhaling turkey and turkey related fixings (read: gravy).  Plus some family fun a la Easter traditions, including egg decorating!

Yes, I do give (expensive) lessons!!

And one last little festive tidbit….have I mentioned that this Easter chick has one extra little jelly bean in her belly?

Jelly bean belly

Yep, this FunnerRunner is meggo-preggo.

Spring makeover!

A new look for FunnerRunner?!

Things were getting a bit stale around here, so I figured a spring makeover was in order!  Bear with me as I work out some of the kinks…and realize the true limitations of my technical abilities.  It’s a work in progress, so in the meantime…what do you think?  More boring than {insert any singing, dancing, talent, fat people reality show here}?  Harder to read than the Twilight series?  Uglier than Crocs? (FYI – impossible, unless you count work boots with heels.)

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Fill me in…changes, suggestions, must-haves!?  (PS – I realize I need to think of a new tagline…I’ve got a few schweeet ides that I’m tossing around in my head.  Not included is “Jogging, logging, and blogging 2012km in 2012”.  More like “Lazy girls are just like fast girls, but less fast…yet equally slutty.”)  Catchy, no?

Catching up

Even though blogging has been tossed on the back burner for awhile, I have actually been doing blog worthy activities (other than sitting on the couch “researching” the internet).

So let’s play a little catch up!

As promised earlier this year, I’m doing my darndest to keep my 2012 resolution to try one new recipe a month.

Reach for the sky!

(Please disregard numbers 1, 2 & 4 for now…I’m a work in progress)

Let’s back up a scootch and pretend like I am a domestic goddess chef extraordinaire… and that it’s February.

The month of love brought a couple of recipe challenges including one that I didn’t even force Muffin and I to eat…in fact, I made it as a “gift”.  Enter The Pioneer Woman’sThe Best Lasagna. Ever.

Best. Lasagna. Ever. (this is not mine, obs)


My plan was to make two small-ish dishes – one for us and one for our dear friends who just birthed a brand new bebe (“Congrats on your new bundle!  How about some salmonella to go along with that unrelenting fatigue and incessant crying?!  You’re welcome!”)  Turns out that I’m bad at cooking AND math.  I just didn’t have enough of “spreading out ingredients to make two lasagnas” for us too.  However I’m totally confident that it turned out exactly like Pioneer Woman’s 612 “OMG this is so goooood!” comments lasagna.  What?  Just let me have that.

So although it was a new recipe, I felt like I needed to tackle something that we would actually consume ourselves in order to meet my 2012 resolution.  Enter new recipes #2 and #3 (in one month!!).

I saw all of these deeeelish looking grilled sandwiches on Closet Cooking (another Canadian blogger…wha, whaat!)  and could barely decide which one to devour create.  After much drooling and panting, I eventually landed on Bacon Guacamole Grilled Cheese Sandwiches served up with Creamy Mushroom and Roasted Cauliflower Soup.  Both dishes = TO. DIE. FOR.  The soup was fantastic (even with half milk, half light cream, sans wine) and surprisingly easy, and the sandwiches…well, unless you’ve had your taste buds burned off in some sort of tragic hot pizza eating incident – this will change grilled cheese for you – FOREVER.

Clearly not my actual dish again...mine looked JUST like this though. Ahem.

Soup, soup - so good for the soul. Stealing photos - also good.

Source for both images.

And just quickly, because we all know that I’m no foodie blogger and I’m running out of synonyms for “yummy”, March’s recipe was super successful and awesome as well.  Because I’m that good.  I stumbled across this little number on Pinterest (of course) – Baked Sweet and Sour Chicken and whipped up my own rendition of fried rice to go along with it.  Muffin and I eat A LOT of chicken breast and it was so nice to change it up a bit.  Super tasty and a definite keeper.  That said, I totally under estimated how long it would take to cube, dip, roll, brown, give little massages to, sing lullabies for and french braid the chicken’s hair.  Plan for some extra prep time to baby that whiny, self-absorbed little chicken so that in the end it is totally your sticky, sweet bitch.  Yum!

Seeing a pattern...not my actual dish.


Alright, enough with the food.  (Is anyone else gnawing on the couch arm right now?  No?  Just me?)

Running is ramping back up for me (and likely everyone else in North America too).  The weather is a little warmer, the days are much brighter, and so running is seeming a bit easier.  Big selling point for me.

Last month’s virtual race went swimmingly, so swimmingly in fact, that I’ve signed up to do another virtual race!  They are just so darn cheap fun!  (Did I mention that I won a prize last time too?  Not surprising for people that know me and know that I win stuff.  Sorry losers, that random prize has my name all over it.)  So at some point this week (Friday, I’m looking at you) I’ve got the 10k Jelly Bean virtual race!  Again, you can do the race where ever your little legs will take you and there are four events to choose from (5k, 10k, half-marathon run or half-marathon bike).  Or you can do any combination of all four…if you are a giant keener nerd.  As for me (and probably most of the other cool kids), 10k it is.  Tomorrow is the last day to sign up and you have to complete your event by April 8 – just in time for Cadbury egg snorting!  That seems like sound logic to me folks…one little race + mucho Easter candy consumption = balance.  Sign up here…now.

And finally for our little catch up (wasn’t this fun? Just like old friends getting together over coffee, except that one annoying friend dominated the whole conversation) …one more awesome thing I did while I wasn’t here – deep water running.  Read all about it here.  (Spoiler alert, I didn’t drown but somehow still managed to look like a beached whale in a one piece.)