Category Archives: Weekenders & peeps

Five things

In true FunnerRunner style, I’m supposed to be running right now but my change of clothes is all the way in my car…in the parking lot…versus within reaching distance. So here I am…dreaming* of running instead of actually doing it. (*dreaming is definitely not an accurate verb in this scenario. In case you’re new.)

So five quick things to update you on:

1) The (non)long run

I had big plans to run a 7k last Saturday but instead my merry little family hit up the dog park and stood around while pretending to be outdoorsy.

dog park

But somehow (enter blog-related guilt), at around 2:30pm, I scraped myself off my own ass and headed out for a 5km. Better than nothing, no? It was a balmy 12C and I knew I would be kicking myself for not at least trying to enjoy it. It’s hard to justify complaining about crap weather when you are clinging to the couch on mild days too.

2) Wednesday’s SURPRISE run!

Because we have had the pleasure of having an AHMAHZINGLY lovely and helpful house guest stay with us for the past few weeks, I was able to actually run in the morning – ON A WEEKDAY! – just like old times.

And my-oh-my, it was wonderful. (<– surprisingly, not sarcasm) Brisky, crispy air with fresh morning legs has got everything on afternoon laziness and lunch-time gurgles. I didn’t realize how much I miss starting my day off with a workout, so if anyone has got a hankering to drive out to the boonies at 6am and babysit for an hour, that would be swell.

New stompin' grounds.

New stompin’ grounds.

A special thanks to Shannaners for disrupting her morning routine so that I could check 7km off my training calendar. AlphaVag for life! (Just our attempt to live out a sorority house fantasy. Wait, that sounds way different than it is…we just wear matching sweatshirts and drink a lot wine throughout the week.)

Remember that time we drank six bottles of Apothic Red and wore matching shirts?

Remember that time we drank six bottles of Apothic Red and wore matching shirts..like for a month?

3) Water drinking challenge

Speaking of Shannaners, have I mentioned that we have embarked on a wine water-imbibing journey together? For the month of November, we are committed to drinking two liters of water EVERYDAY or else! (The ‘else’ is that we don’t get to treat ourselves to new boots at the end of the month…) So “everyday” really means everyday. Even days that you are sitting in Toronto traffic for hours – in the morning and afternoon – you still need to down copious amounts of water. So far I’ve met my goal each day, albeit at the expense of some parking garage floors and couch cushions. I’m not proud, just honest. And my skin is no silkier or smoother so we’ll see if I bother to keep this up through December or not.

4) Songza

Seriously, tell me you are running, walking, dinner-cooking, whatever-ing to this. I was introduced to this super app by Ms. Laporte and am in love. My current faves are “Drop-a-beat workout” (for sweating), “The World of The Lumineers” (for porch sitting and dart swinging), “Vodka escapades: Ladies be pre-gaming” (kitchen dance parties, obs), as well as a few others because I’m well-rounded and a super mom. Fellow Songza lovahs, what’s on your list?

Songza

5) Something new in the works

And I’ll leave it at that and update you when I sort it aaaallll out. Cliffhanger, no?

nailed-it-cross-stitch1

Clarification

Ah shoot.  Sometimes (like very rarely) my ability to convey sarcasm in writing falls short.  I know, I’m having a hard time believing it myself.

However, much to my surprise, I discovered after reading some comments and texts that I may have led some folks into thinking I’ve accomplished waaaay more than I actually have in the last few weeks.

Remember this little line from my post a few weeks ago“I ran a couple of marathons, learned to knit AND drive standard, and dug a pool in our backyard, but that’s about it.  No biggie smalls.”

Full disclosure – I did none of those things.  In fact I thought that that list was so impossibly outrageous that my joke would be hilariously apparent.  Apparently not.  Apparently some of you (some of my very most quick-witted readers I might add) have much higher hopes for me.  Silly gooses.

So no, my 2012 goals of learning to knit and drive standard have not come to fruition (YET) and even more upsetting, we are not getting a pool.  Sorry Shannaners, the mini-pool (aka: lukewarm hot tub) will have to do for now.

“Slide back to the wall! You are blocking the bubble jets! Repeat! You are blocking the bubble jets!”

Okaaaay, after that little slap to the ego about all of the things I haven’t done, let’s get on with what I have done.  (Equally impressive…don’t worry.)  <– See?  That’s sarcasm.

1) Hang out with awesome house guests (Come back soon, McKivies!) – check.

2) Pilfer entire maternity wardrobe from super generous post-preggos (thanks Mrs’ Boa, Bravo and Laporte!) – check.

3) Get pumpity-pumped for this weekend’s house guests (Welcome home, Gornacs!) – check.

4) Deal with the fact that all of my summer social events will be spent sober.  All of them.  – working on it.

Or “I’ll be less of a raging, pouty bitch…”

If Snooki can do it, I can do it.

(Stay sober, that is.)

And lastly,

5), keep on truckin’ – check.  I’ve managed to keep up with my workouts on a fairly consistent basis so far.  For sure there are mornings that I just don’t feel like running, so I don’t.  But for the most part, I’ve managed at least 2-3 runs per week and they range from about 6k – 10k.  And truthfully, I have never been happier to have running partners.  They are by far the only reason I’m still running.

Each solo run I do is either a) cancelled by moi, or b) total crap.

So if you are feeling large and in charge (Like some of us are.  Shut up.) or are just lacking a bit of motivation, your first step is to get a partner STAT and then keep your mind off that shit.  Would you rather spend your run stressing about if it’s physically possible for legs to actually spontaneously fall off OR spend it chatting away about boobs and placentas*?  (*subject matter left to the runners’ discretion)

I know what I would pick.  (And Hooles and Jen, thanks for letting me talk about boobs and placentas with you.)

Speaking of, I’ll be adding a meggo-preggo update on the mini-Muffin this weekend!  (Pinky swear, not a peep about my “lacenta-pay”.  There is such a thing as TMI…Hi Gramps!)

Jelly Bean{s}

Lemme tell ya…I jelly bean’d it up this weekend!

First, there was my 10k Jelly Bean virtual race on Friday.  I would love to give you a riveting race recap, but essentially I ran the same 10k route that I have been running for years.  Surprises that don’t involve me opening presents don’t really interest me, so I usually stick to what I know won’t kill my legs or get me lost in the ghettos of the P-dot.  Same wonderful slight decline at the start, same creepy cemetery to make me hustle up, same main street riffraff to elbow through.  I was feeling pretty good, despite having Body Pumped and ran with the lovely Hooles the day before.  And sadly in this case, feeling good = not an awesome finishing time for me.  I clocked a sluggish 57:45…but in reality was just trying to justify extra jelly bean consumption over the next three days.  So, the Jelly Bean 10k – a success!

Slow and steady for this turtle

Moving onwards and upwards (actually eastwards) to the family homestead for the long weekend / excessive food binge coma…

As MY LOYAL READERS would know, I don’t run well at Mimded and Eduardo’s house.  It’s scary, it’s smelly and, let’s face it, I’m lazy.  So in an effort to ensure that I got my not-so mini egg’d rear out on the pavement, I made plans with Harv, my high school bestie, to take on the Jelly Bean 5k together!  (The Jelly Bean race has four events to choose from: a 5k, 10k, 21k run and 21k bike.  You can do as many or as few as you like.)  After she untangled herself from the small village of babies that occupy her living room (aka her offspring) we were off.  At this point I was happy to be running, but so, so, so happy to be running with Harvalicious.  It was so good to catch up, even if we were wheezing throughout the whole gossip session.  Between my Thursday reunion with Hooles and my race with Harv – I was in running buddy heaven!  Two running dates with best girlies in one week?!  Yes, please!  It makes me wonder why I tackled 2011km all on my lonesome?  (I’m an idiot is basically all I could come up with too)  So the Jelly Bean 5k – a success!

Even more funner with more runners

Obviously the rest of my weekend was spent lounging, snorting candy and inhaling turkey and turkey related fixings (read: gravy).  Plus some family fun a la Easter traditions, including egg decorating!

Yes, I do give (expensive) lessons!!

And one last little festive tidbit….have I mentioned that this Easter chick has one extra little jelly bean in her belly?

Jelly bean belly

Yep, this FunnerRunner is meggo-preggo.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Are you starting to wonder how I even manage to keep a job with this stellar ability to keep deadlines?  Magic, I tell ya.

So no.  It doesn’t look like Christmas anywhere around these parts.

Onesie Twinsies!

(Because that’s what Christmas actually looks like around our parts)

BUT! I still want to show off my cool running swag that Santa showered me with a mere, oh, month or so ago.

Without further procrastination ado….Christmas goodies! (…and a whole whack of less-than-professional-quality photos! Of me!)

1) Lobers – Earmuffs with built in speakers so you can plug your iPod right into them!  AKA – brilliant!

Lova-love the Lobers

I saw these once online and, as usual, they didn’t ship to Canada.  (Honestly, we’re not that far…Athleta, I’m mostly looking at you.)  But that crafty big sis‘ of mine managed to snag a pair for me!  (We saw them at a department store in Kingston…I can find out for sure if that’s where she got them if you are interested.)  But long story short…they’re awesome.  Good sound quality, they stay on my head and they’re warm.  Win, win, win.  These beauties are especially great for people like me who LOATHE ear buds (or ear buds loathe me…but I think the feeling is pretty mutual).  It’s pretty tricky to wear a toque and old school headphones and manage to look like a superstar.  I mean, I can pull it off, but it takes some work.

2) Due North Traction Aids – my new favourite piece of gear.

Like a ninja

I’ve been running for a few years now…including training throughout the winter for various races in various years (Around the Bay ’06, Miami Marathon ’07, Peterborough Half 2011) and I have never ever attempted to wear cleats, spikes, yak trax, etc.  And honestly, I have no idea why.  I’m guessing it’s because I’m an idiot, but nevertheless, thank you, thank you Mimded & Eduardo for tossing these magic-makers into my gift pile on a whim!  And outside of running, I’m pumped to try these at bootcamp next week…but that’s a story for another day.  Or month…depending on how awesome I am at blogging in my usual timely fashion.

3) Gloves – because I lost one of my other ones.  Damn you , laundry monster.

Jazz hands!

Just a heads up, these are listed as men’s gloves on the MEC site.  Either I have man-hands or they are a toight, toight glove for most fellas.

4) Lululemon’s Run: Inspire Crop

Another example of my outstanding photography skills

I also like to call these my “buttah pants” because baby, they feel as smooth as butter going on.  I do own or have owned most athletic brands of pants, and NOTHING feels as great as lulu.  Haspansive?  Obs.  Worth it? 100%.  (Thank you Mama McGlone for the splurge!)

5) Chicken Soup for the Runner’s Soul

The Thinker

Truthfully I haven’t started this book yet.  I’ve been busy working my way through a riveting chapter in US magazine about “who wore it best” so that’s been eating up a bunch of my time.  No seriously, I love that I have this and will definitely be pulling it out soon as part of my “return to asphalt plan”.  But for now I’ll just drool over the cover guy’s calves.  Baby steps, people.

6) My one-of-a-kind medal & bib display!

Made with love...and a lotta talent.

Every year the Boot famille draws a name and makes one homemade gift for that person (in addition to real gifts, because unlike my Mom, some of us aren’t crafty enough to create something that would warrant being called an actual gift).  And lucky-ducky me, Mimded picked my name and made me this AH.MAH.ZING. medal display!  And the pockets behind it are to keep random running stuff in…Garmin, charger, ipod, etc.  Genius, no?  And now I’m on my way to having an Uncle Jim wall…only 6000 more medals to go!

brag wall

Bling!

So that’s my new(ish) running stuff…what did you get?  What am I missing?! (e.g. something even better than spikes!?!)

And don’t think that I forgot…I know I mentioned awhile ago that there was BIG NEWS!  So big in fact that I’ve kept it to myself for a couple of months…

…nope, I bet it’s not what you are thinking.  Especially if you are my mother-in-law….

….

These crazy kids are getting hitched!!

The beautiful people

Congrats McKivies!!

I am so, so excited for you both!  I love you and know that you are about to start an even more amazing adventure together!  (Especially when you inevitably become our neighbors.  In Ontario.  Just sayin’…we Bootmans are a good time.)

Even blingey-er. (Totally a word)

Like prison, but with more push ups

Running can be a bit time consuming.  Especially if you run like me.

With all of this running /calculating km’s for running /trying to think of reasons to get out of running, the hours are flying by at a nerve-wracking pace.  (Seriously, only 67 days until the end of the year…wtf, calendar!?)  So I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the motto “if you’ve got time lean, you’ve got time to clean”.  No wait, that was my McD’s manager’s motto.  Mine is “If you’ve got time to sweat, you’ve got time to run”.  Which really means, instead of making time for weights or other cardio, go running.  Just for the next two hellish months.  Don’t get all ‘tsk, tsk‘ on me. I know this plan won’t do me any favours in the ass or abs department and, yes, it IS a fantastic way to get injured! But until that little joggin’ logger passes 2000km, it’s all running all the time.  The only other exercise my body is seeing lately are spin classes that I’m teaching and my weekly Exercise Diaries endeavour.  Needless to say, my arms look fantastic without any weight training.

My flarms, circa Monday.

Clearly, this won’t do.  Enter: The 100 Push up Challenge!  A few weeks ago,  I opened my big fat mouth and duped encouraged five of my most gullible favourite peeps to tackle this challenge with me.  And because I am a superstar marketing guru, they agreed!  Crap.

Fast forward to present – we are into Week 3.  And it ain’t easy.  Especially because my triceps have only been used to open wine bottles and tie shoelaces for the past 2 months.  Truthfully, I would have pulled the plug around mid-Week 2, but I couldn’t.  Not because I’m not a quitter (I love quitting!), but because I’m team player…and have flarms that rival turkey wings.   So how is the rest of the crew doing?  As far as I know Eduardo and Shannaners are humming along just fine.  Jerks.  BMac and Muffin?  I’m not sure they are still on this gravy train.  But now that I’ve managed to lump them in with my sad little Cabbage Patch arms, they’ll take this opportunity to play a little catch up?  Keep us posted, fellas.

And that’s where I’m at.  Run, push up, ralph, repeat.  Like prison, but with more push ups.

I'm the one with Bambi arms and dummy legs

I’m on Calgary time!

But I don’t think that blaming the two hour time delay is a good enough excuse for only ONE September post.  Ugh, it looks even worse when typed.  Sorry for the neglect, FunnerRunnerites.  But seriously, where the freak did September go?!  Sneaky little phantom, time travelling, wizardry of September.

But my blog neglect is not a reflection of my running neglect.  Wait.  Yep.  Yep it is.  In August I logged over 200km!  Whereas mystery month, ol’ September, a mere 130-ish.  (To be honest August is probably more of the anomaly, but whatevs)  So once again, I find myself at the end of another month, furiously calculating how I can catch up and magically make December six months away instead of three.  I imagine it’s a lot like balancing one’s books..if one knew what that was and what “books” one is referring to.  Just like that.

But would I trade September for anything?  NO SIR!  Not even for a “My Song” singing Ewan McGregor, serving me deep fried ice cream while prancing around in a Prosecco spouting fountain.  Not even that, dear friends.

Sorry Ewan, I'll take Calgary.

Our holly’s were amazeballs!  The adorable McKivies were the host’rs with the most’rs and we had a fantastic time in the old west.

The bender week started out classy.

Welcome to Wild Rose Country!

Obligatory airport photo

Fancy-pants dinner by Bares (burn marks included)

Lobster fanciness followed by rousing games of Operation and PENNY CAN!

WTF funny bone!?!

PENNY CAAAAN!

(Apparently, the high altitude out west affects some people’s ability to hold their wine.  Obviously, we were immune to this.)

Totally resistant to the effects of altitude

Not #winning

Day 2 – Bright eyed and bushy-tailed for the zoo! (pun intended…bad, but intended)

Muffin's vacation wave

Cuter than Roo

We love bears! And acting! And cheesy photo opps!

Look at me conquering fears

Bears AND birds...look out world.

Between wandering the continents and dodging stroller-rude Moms all day, the zoo bush whacked us. (PS – did I mention that I ran this morning too?!  Washed off the remaining Penny Can sharpie evidence and schlubbed my way through 7km.  Mountain air + welcome cocktails = zoo sloths that move faster than me)

Friday – girl day / boy day / birthday bash!

Another gorgeous, yet brisk, day in Calgs!  Perfect for torturous waxing and a golf tournament.  Guess who did what?  Let’s just say Muffin came home with a new Plasma TV and suntan and I returned looking like this…

Agitated and hairless

And that’s enough info about that.  Besides the 20 minute appointment of doom, Shannaners and I enjoyed manicures, MAC makeup trials, shopping and lunch mojitos.  And a helluva-better-than-yesterday 10k run.  Lovely.

Then off to Aussie Rules to commemorate how Bares somehow lived through yet another year.  Oi, oi, oi!!

Aussie's: Where sitting is frowned upon

Cool kids

Met some fantastic peeps…and were exposed to learned some sweet new moves.

The robot...classic.

Shan leads the stool dancers

Cousin Chris does the Beavis

Moves like Jagger

After hours of stool stomping, roof raising and jaeg bombing, we called it a night.  Birthday bashed = check!

Saturday…rallying for Nik Lewis Nation.  Go Stamps go!

Schuper excitos

Sporting NLN tees...feeling super pretty. Ahem.

Lewnatics, party of two please.

Might be the Stamps biggest fan...actually he is. True story.

And one special fella was (informally) white-hatted! (Just like Princess Kate!…and Kevin Costner)

"Special" guest.

Easy like Sunday morning.  That’s exactly what it was.  Take it easy stew-day.  With garnish.

It's all about balance.

Monday – To round out the jolly holly’s, was a jaunt to Banff for the night!

Like summer camp, but a thousand times better and prettier.

We “rode” the Banff Gondola (aka.  Shannaners and I clutched each other in fear and sweat while uttering death threats to the first person who dared to move, shift or breathe.  Fun!)  Once we escaped the floating terror dome, we really did enjoy the hike to the top of Sulpher Mountain.

Remember that time we almost died on the gondola? Good times!

Muffin has a soothing effect

After a little visit to the hot springs and some hotel down time, we headed out for some swanky eats at Salt Lik.  (Backgrounder: upon arriving in Cow Town, I quickly declared that I wanted Alberta beef at some point.  Enter Salt Lik)  Delicious dinner…yay beef…and then some rug-cutting to live music at The Rose and Crown.

Hydrating

Hydrated

Everyday I'm shufflin

Thanks to the McKivies for a fantastic week of laughs, brisket, new friends, watery jaw and loves!    See you at Stampede.  xo

McKivies!

September is the new spring

Little devils

Ugh.  See them? Those sneaky orange tinged leaves peaking out from the big, beautiful summery foliage.  Little devils.   Truthfully, I would fully embrace fall if it wasn’t the gateway to craptastic winter…but it is, hence my love-hate with autumn.

But with the departure of tan lines, bonfires and flip-flops comes the arrival of… BOOTS!  Kidding…sort of.  Boots, but also apple picking, pumpkin flavoured everything and cool, crisp morning runs.  School is back in, workers are back to work, and the mellow days of summer have drifted away.  Let’s face it, fall is the new spring! New beginnings!  So here’s how I’m getting back into the swing of things too…

Making progress…

So how goes the running?  Well, I’m hovering just under 60% complete, which means if I continue to knock off about 50km each week I’ll hit 2011km by the end of the year!  Huzzah!  Hold onto your hats, here comes the math…

808km remaining ÷ 16 weeks remaining = 50.5km weekly

Carry the seven...two to the power of...

And just how am I keeping such accurate records of all of this mileage?  Well I’ve welcomed a new member into my little running entourage…

Helloooo to being tracked by NASA and the like

After the tragic end of Original Garmin and a few months of freeloading Hooles’ Garmin, and don’t forget putting up with annoying eBay shipping headaches, I’ve finally put my shiny new Garmin to work!  Good news because there is no more guesstimating and rounding down (every meter counts people!), but also bad news because now I’m getting a daily reminder of how painfully slow I am.  It’s true what they say, ignorance is bliss.  (But so is Baskin Robbins and that makes me feel much better about myself.  Blissfully ignorant.)

New Garmin is much flashier with all sorts of buttons and beeping and lasers and such, but I think my fave feature is that it’s about half the size.  (That what she…nevermind) Original Garmin was like running with the Zach Morris cell phone of training devices.  New Garmin is so sleek! (Comparatively speaking because it is still quite massive.  But how else can NASA and the FBI track my every move?)

Kelly, grab your leg warmers & meet me at The Max

W.I.N.E. club is back!

After a few “relaxed” months, we are kicking the lid off of WINE club again!  How is a wine club supporting a healthy lifestyle you ask?  Much to my chagrin and most people’s surprise, there is zero alcohol involved.  I know, right?!  Affectionately known as “Fatties in the basement” by my supportive husband, WINE club is a poor, lazy woman’s Weight Watchers.  Weighing In, No Excuses started when Dudes, Red and I decided that we wanted to be accountable for our fitness goals and definitely didn’t want to pay for it.  So after a few months at a different club that just wasn’t working for us (i.e. we didn’t care if 80 year old women judged us for eating extra pie = no motivation to eat less pie), we branched off on our own and started WINE club.  Basically we meet up once a week in Dudes’ basement to weigh in and whine about work, life, other people, etc.  And when the mood strikes us (like in fresh start September!) we set a few personal goals and help each other to stick with them.  So we’re hot to trot and back to WINE…and a new member to boot…welcome Hedgie!  So next time you see one of us, ask how the WINE club goals are going and maybe even about membership!  We’re always open to new people shaming us into exercising! (Maybe…it depends how good you are at it. No one likes a judgey-wudgey bear)

And finally, what else is happening in this springy September?

VACAY!

Muffin and I are heading out to the ol’ west to visit the McKivies…finally!  Just when everyone is back to work, we’re getting out of dodge.  Stupendous…and a classic move by us.

The McKivies!

I can’t wait to spend some QT with some of my very favourite peeps.  So hang on to your underoos for an extra few days and I’ll be back to regale you with tales of our adventures…plus a couple of new things that are in the works for FunnerRunner.  I told ya, September is the new spring…things are happening!

PS – Happy 50th post to me!  And you were all a part of this momentous occasion…lucky duckies!

PPS – I’ll be updating the Kickin’ Asphalt page post-vacation.  I’m just too non-committal whimsical to plan my workouts when I’m supposed to be playing.

D for damage control

This week was supposed to be all about making up for my summer weekending (ahem) binge-drink-eat-fest, but alas, it’s not going so well.  Turns out I’m not a good Monday person. (Read: no workouts)  And lo and behold, I’m not a good “say no to cookies” person either.  (Read: carb coma)  And the weather last week?  Yep, you suck just as much as me.  (Read: more missed running)  So this week’s damage duty is taking a back seat to lounging and snacking.  But were the past weekends worth it you ask?  Oh so very,very worth it.

PHOTO MONTAGE!

First up was the “Love is Grand!” affair with this rockstar couple…E & J!

Lovebirds

Grand friends...

Grand dancin'...

Grand Muffin...

Grand happily ever after...

Grand old time.

Of course, the only fitting follow up to a wedding affair like that is, of course…cottaging!  Thanks for S&J for the perfect amount of sun, fun, tubes and ‘hair of the dog’ for successful re-coup!

Takin' it easy

Totally normal

There are other people at the table (aka not entirely just my empties)

Schooling us all

Watery death

Lick 'em, stick 'em

Which brings us to this past weekend… wedding numero one million-ish.  (And truthfully, I couldn’t be happier! Bring on the romance, Mony Mony and cocktails…)  Happy, happy wedding A&M!

Perfectly perfect!

We LOVE weddings!

Wouldn't be complete without the Dirty Dancing lift

Congrats to all the lovelies…and thanks in advance for not suing me for shamelessly stealing all of your Facebook photos.

And I promise we will resume our regularly scheduled programming soon…once I ease out of summery festiveness and back into cheeseandcrackersonlyfourmonthstopullthisoff panic mode.

Desert (the verb)

Synonyms: abscond, apostatize, bail out, beach, betray, bolt, check out, chuck, cop out, crawl out, decamp, depart, duck, escape, flee, fly, forsake, give up, go, go AWOL, go back on, go over the hill, go west, jilt, leave, leave high and dry, leave in the lurch, leave stranded, light, maroon, opt out, play truant, pull out, quit, relinquish, renounce, resign, run out on, sneak off, split, strand, take a hike, take off, tergiversate, throw over, vacate, violate oath, walk

Yep, they pretty much all describe my behaviour over the past 14 days.  But contrary to popular belief, I haven’t totally abandoned FunnerRunner!  The past couple of weeks have been a bit hectic, gloomy and uninspiring – not great reading material. (<–like this)  And that just won’t do here.  So in the meantime, sit back and enjoy a photo recap from our May 2-4er weekend. And instead of curling up into a little ball with a bottle of Prosseco and a straw, I’ll work on a real update for y’all.

Saturday bright and early…20k prep.

I ate this...on purpose...not for a TV game show challenge.

Breakfast of champions isn't complete without a spoonful of PB

New running fuel...and my new giant H20 bottle.

20k done…barely, but that’s another story.  (Thank goodness this blog is about clocking miles and not about actually being a good runner)  On to the park with Piper!

W-A-L-K-? face

BDFF (Best dog friend forevah)

Off to a backyard shin-diggery-do at Hooles, B-Rock and the new bundle’s pad to eat, drink and be drunk merry.

Little B-Rock

B-Rock x2

Muffin & Kluke rockin' out

Piperoni rockin' out

On the road again…to the Gull River for some paddling and camping with Team Smoyce!  (Note: do not attempt camping, in the rain, in May, without dousing yourself in paint thinner (or whatever else is stronger than DEET) and an extra large bottle of something alcoholic enough to distract you from the incessant black flies and mosquitoes.  Seriously…blood dripping down the back of my ears.)

A dog with a plan

Agent Smith & Muffin "strategizing" their attack

Not drowning! Whoowee!

Checking in with the gals

There you have it…a post on a running blog and with no useful running material.  Maybe I should change the blog name to “Tipsy dog lover”, or more realistically, “I drink too much and take a lot of pictures of my dog”.

Rum is not a performance enhancer…

…unless you are in a rump shaking contest.  In that case, speaking from experience I’m totally guessing here, it most likely would be.  Not surprisingly, although disappointingly, rum does not help one’s running.  BLINK.  BLINK.  Seriously?  Yes.  Well at least not when you are past the age of 22.  (Double punch to the gut)  But before I get to that little disaster, let’s take a quick “Jamaican me love LOVE” sneak peek!

After a whirlwind few days of primping, tanning, hair do’ing, manicuring, shopping and last minute crunches packing, we were finally off for the oh-so looooong awaited wedding extravaganza!

Smooches and hugs all around as we greeted the other 40ish people at the airport who were joining our Jamaican adventure.  After a smooth check-in (read: getting my luggage weighed WITH Muffin’s in an effort to sneak on extra bikini weight…#winning) and an easy flight, the salty island air greeted us as we touched down in Montego Bay.  The next seven days are an alcohol induced fog so that’s about it for the recap.  I kid…you can keep reading Eduardo and Mimded!!

But because I’m simply lazy and writing takes a lot more effort, here’s a photo montage of some highlights.  (Disclaimer: I fully intended on scooping photos from Facebook, but apparently it’s a lot trickier to “borrow” other people’s images.  Irritating for me, but I suppose also Mark Zuckerberg’s way of saving us from having keg stand photos show up in the office newsletter.  Anyhoo, other people have way better pics (because I was too lazy busy and pickled important to capture memories), so stay tuned because eventually I’ll figure out how to steal from FB)

The GORGEOUS bride et moi

Beach party dancin'

Powder and me...heh.

Groom and fellas

Underwater adventure!

Hot n' happy couple

Again, stay tuned for tales of snorkeling, cliff jumping, LOVELY nuptials, our fantastic resort and other people’s more photos!  But in the meantime, my synopsis is: if you like happy people, jerk chicken and have a hankerin’ for prescription and/or non-prescription drugs…Jamaica is probably the place for you!! Ya mon.

Which brings me back to the perils of rum…as well as buffets, mojitos, 24hr mac n’ cheese and lounge chairs galore.  These little gems, shockingly, are not typically part of an athletic lifestyle.  BLINK.  BLINK.    Well, maybe just not the copious amounts that I consumed in a very short time frame.  But when in ‘Rome’, DO NOT think twice about the crap.  Enjoy it, savour it…try to pack it in your luggage and take it home with you.  Who’s with me?

That said, when I got home it was time to get back on the gravy train…or off it…and back to loggin’ the joggin’.  First day back…2.5km.   And it blew.  Rum chunks.  Lots of ’em.

So in my sporty wisdom, I decided to take a couple days off.  Then a couple more.  Then ate some pizza and mulled over how I’m not going to let my rum-punch powered legs get me down. No siree.  Then I slept in two more days…skipped my runs…and came up with a “MAY DETOX plan: Flushing out Jamaica”.

Me vs. me...bring it.

The basic premise is to clean up my over-processed food intake and get my fanny out the door.  And pronto, because those kilometers aren’t going to run themselves.  (But cheese and crackers, how awesome would that be?)  Having done some necessary number crunching revisions, it looks like my July 4th goal of hitting 1000km is going to be super tight.  But I’m going to give it a whirl and whine to you all about it along the way.  Fun x2!   If I make it I may just treat myself to something a li’l special?  I’m taking suggestions (…and gifts).

Some ideas…I’m just spitballing here, folks.