Category Archives: Motivation madness

Challenge accepted!

As someone who is one part goal-oriented and one part non-committal, new year resolutions are a bit of a tricky beast for me. I love the idea of challenging myself, but realistically, a year is a REALLY long time. For example, those people that do the “photo a day” thing all year – troopers. I’m the bum that would wake up some random June morning and EFFFFFFFF remembered that I forgot to take a picture the day before. Ruined. A year is too long to commit/remember/not screw up.

So because I’m clever and awesome and modest I decided that my resolution will be to create and complete one challenge for every month of the year! Not bad, huh?

...one month at a time.

…one month at a time.

I have a few ideas up my sleeve, but this little ninja of a resolution will allow me to change up my goals based on my mood current interests. So instead of mapping out twelve months of challenges, I’ll think of them as I go along. (Insert suggestions here)

So what’s up for January? Working out. Just like everyone else in the world. (I never thought I’d become one of those people but here I am huffing and puffing while doing up my jeans because I took an ENTIRE MONTH off of exercise. And replaced it with wine and cheeseballs.)

CHALLENGE: Four weeks = four workouts per week.

I don’t care what kind of workout or how hard or long it is (Ew.), but I just need to get back into a routine. And I love being forced into routine…doesn’t everyone?

Who’s with me? It just staaaaarted…   Week one is from January 6-12.  I’ll irritatingly nag you if you irritatingly nag me?

Sure. *snort*

Sure.  *snort*

Whaaaa??!!

It’s the 5th of December, homies.

Who's running today?

 

Who’s running today?

I have a confession to make.

I got comfortable, folks.

Which could easily be translated to “lazy”, however I think there’s a lot more to it than just that.

I got to like not being inconvenienced. Not having to run a certain distance or be at the gym at a certain time. Or shower. Or put on non-elastic waist pants. It was easy and lovely and, well, a bit lazy. If I wanted to spend an entire afternoon canoodling a certain little bundle of joy – I did it. I had nowhere to be and nothing to prove. Bliss.

But, if you know me at all, that fancy-free kind of schedule just doesn’t do it for me in the long run. I’m a planner. A list-maker. A goal-setter (not goal-achiever per se, but sweet peas, I’ll make a spreadsheet to map it out). So I’m back. WITH A PLAN!

I can’t even begin to go over all of the things that I should have blogged about during my year at home with Mini-Muffin (for example, her chubby little cheeks and the way she looks when she’s just dozing off and…gahhhh, so much cuteness), so I’ll just stick to a few running related highlights:

  • I did actually run. Not well or far, but on January 7, 2013 I headed out and braved my first run since being 30 weeks preggo in August.
  • I did actually sign-up for a half-marathon and gave a pseudo-training plan a go. Until early May when the race was around the corner and I was still red-faced wheezing through my one and only 15km run. That’s when I decided I was done.
  • Mini-Muffin and I got used to using the jogging stroller and it was good. But I typically maxed out between 5-7km. And I was ok with that. (See above re: lazy)
  • We moved…to the boonies. And I haven’t quite wrapped my head around running there…by my lonesome. (Ahem, Shannaners.)

So that brings you up to speed. (Heh.)

Now that I’m back at work and FORCED to be wearing pants and on a schedule, I’m trying to work in a few midday runs a week while at the office. (Because no one cared to remind me how crazy short your days are when you’re confined to a desk for 8ish hours. Barf.) So, to avoid cutting into precious evening family snuggle time, I’m maximizing my “work” day. Look at me! Super inconvenienced! And kind of smelly at work!

Next post, where I’m at in my fitness. (Is there a succinct/non-humiliating way to say, “I can weeble-wobble along for about 16 minutes before realizing that my lungs and legs are on fire and I’m 99% sure that I am going to have a stroke/seizure/heart attack in the parking lot because, oh right, after 16 minutes of “running” I’m still in a parking lot”?)

Welcome back, readers!

Ah shoot.

I really didn’t mean to take a TWO MONTH hiatus from blogging…it’s just kind of happened…without me even realizing it.

Let me explain.

You know that friend you have…the one you really like but you just haven’t called in a really long time?  And the more time that passes the more awkward it will be when you finally get off your lazy ace and call them?  So you don’t.  And then it becomes even more horrible in your mind and and you really start to miss them but can’t figure out how to re-connect without it being achingly awful and embarrassing?

For you literary geniuses, no need to explain that this metaphor (I think.  Clearly not a genius here.) is about me and my blog and our fading relationship.  Again, it wasn’t intentional…just awkward.  So let’s hug it out and move on, shall we?

But before we do, it wouldn’t be an apology without some lame excuses to go along with it!

Totally appropriate excuse numero uno: This is a running blog.  And sweet potato fries, it’s hard to write about running when you are barely trucking along with zero training or race goals in mind.  Not a lot of blog fodder in the same 7k  route when subjects like achy pelvic bones, peeing in the woods and bouncy fetuses are frowned upon.  That said, I am happy that I managed to run until 30 weeks (about 7.5 months) preggo.  And truthfully, the actual running didn’t feel too bad and I probably could have kept going a little longer, but feeling like you have to pee for 45 minutes and then waddling around the office all day because your crotch is sore was just getting a little annoying.

Last run done! (AKA – I can’t feel my legs!)

So no more running for this gal for a few months at least.  I’m still cycling and doing Body Pump a few times a week and have switched to “power walks” with Piper instead of running.   (Tip: power walks are really just walks but with a pully dog)

Ruining walks since 2008

Totally appropriate excuse #2: I broke my camera.  And we all know people just want to look at adorable pictures of dogs (see exhibit A above), food and self-portraits on blogs.  It’s ok to admit it.  So if anyone knows how to get river water out of a camera – AFTER trying the rice trick – lemme know.  Or, even better, if anyone would like to buy a clumsy cheapskate a water-free / water-proof camera, lemme know.

Totally appropriate excuse #3: I’m lazy and it’s summer so get off my back.  Pretty self-explanatory that one.
But seriously, I do have some updates for you, such as “2012 goals: yeah, how’s that going?” and “Recipe round-up…the good, the bad and the tragically ugly”.  But until then, one more gratuitous shot of my lovely little family.

You’re welcome!

Clarification

Ah shoot.  Sometimes (like very rarely) my ability to convey sarcasm in writing falls short.  I know, I’m having a hard time believing it myself.

However, much to my surprise, I discovered after reading some comments and texts that I may have led some folks into thinking I’ve accomplished waaaay more than I actually have in the last few weeks.

Remember this little line from my post a few weeks ago“I ran a couple of marathons, learned to knit AND drive standard, and dug a pool in our backyard, but that’s about it.  No biggie smalls.”

Full disclosure – I did none of those things.  In fact I thought that that list was so impossibly outrageous that my joke would be hilariously apparent.  Apparently not.  Apparently some of you (some of my very most quick-witted readers I might add) have much higher hopes for me.  Silly gooses.

So no, my 2012 goals of learning to knit and drive standard have not come to fruition (YET) and even more upsetting, we are not getting a pool.  Sorry Shannaners, the mini-pool (aka: lukewarm hot tub) will have to do for now.

“Slide back to the wall! You are blocking the bubble jets! Repeat! You are blocking the bubble jets!”

Okaaaay, after that little slap to the ego about all of the things I haven’t done, let’s get on with what I have done.  (Equally impressive…don’t worry.)  <– See?  That’s sarcasm.

1) Hang out with awesome house guests (Come back soon, McKivies!) – check.

2) Pilfer entire maternity wardrobe from super generous post-preggos (thanks Mrs’ Boa, Bravo and Laporte!) – check.

3) Get pumpity-pumped for this weekend’s house guests (Welcome home, Gornacs!) – check.

4) Deal with the fact that all of my summer social events will be spent sober.  All of them.  – working on it.

Or “I’ll be less of a raging, pouty bitch…”

If Snooki can do it, I can do it.

(Stay sober, that is.)

And lastly,

5), keep on truckin’ – check.  I’ve managed to keep up with my workouts on a fairly consistent basis so far.  For sure there are mornings that I just don’t feel like running, so I don’t.  But for the most part, I’ve managed at least 2-3 runs per week and they range from about 6k – 10k.  And truthfully, I have never been happier to have running partners.  They are by far the only reason I’m still running.

Each solo run I do is either a) cancelled by moi, or b) total crap.

So if you are feeling large and in charge (Like some of us are.  Shut up.) or are just lacking a bit of motivation, your first step is to get a partner STAT and then keep your mind off that shit.  Would you rather spend your run stressing about if it’s physically possible for legs to actually spontaneously fall off OR spend it chatting away about boobs and placentas*?  (*subject matter left to the runners’ discretion)

I know what I would pick.  (And Hooles and Jen, thanks for letting me talk about boobs and placentas with you.)

Speaking of, I’ll be adding a meggo-preggo update on the mini-Muffin this weekend!  (Pinky swear, not a peep about my “lacenta-pay”.  There is such a thing as TMI…Hi Gramps!)

Just me?

Um, hello?

Is this thing on?

*ahem*

“Hi, my name is FunnerRunner and I’m a winter hater.  A true hater.  Like I want to drag it into a dark alley, stab it with my snowscraper-turned-shank and steal it’s lunch money. Then probably shank it again – just to teach it a lesson.”

Is it just me or has this month been horrifically longer than any other month EVER in the history of time?  The worst part – there is still another freaking week to go!

I can’t be the only one who is finding it hard to muster up any enthusiasm…a smidgen of motivation…a hoot of good cheer…am I?  Two of my favourite things are writing and running and I’m having hard time even doing those.  Proof in pudding…my oh-so hectic, newly adapted, bi-weekly running and blogging schedule (meaning every two weeks, not twice a week…sad, I know).  Why run in the dark, cold outdoors when I can spoon a warm golden retriever for an extra two hours each morning?  Why blog about being a fun runner when clearly I’m neither right now (and Netflix has added ALL THREE SEASONS! of the original Degrassi Junior High!!)?

Classic.

Well the madness has got to end.  (Plus I have to get that Zit Remedy song out of my head eventually.  It is shockingly catchy.)  As Muffin would say, “Pull out of ‘er” (he also uses this piece of advice when I do something dumb like, oh random example, use the George Foreman without the plates).  It’s a great motivator, no?

I’ve learned that just making yourself get out of a funk is the best way to get better quick.  I can’t just curse away dark mornings and cold days…like I am currently doing…life is too short.  As someone who lives in Canada (and plans on continuing to do just that for the foreseeable future) lying on the couch hating a good four months out of the year is simply not helping.

So, I apologize for ignoring you little blog.  From now on I’ll spew out daily posts about nothing, turn out content like the production whore that is expected of me, pilfer and steal from other blogs!  INTERNET DOMINATION!!  Gah.  No not at all.  But I will try really hard to resume quality, magical writing…

Pure magic!

Whatever, I’ll get back to writing when there is something worth writing about.  Deal?  Deal.

That said, I still have to recap you on December’s awesomeness!  It, unlike it’s socially awkward cousin January, had lots of cool stuff happening, so what better time to fill you in than a month after the fact?!

Until then, a gratuitous puppy Piper photo.

Seriously, who wouldn't spoon with her?

The streak is over

Big day today!  BIG!

After my delightfully lazy streak of non-running (11 days sans Garmin, ipod or ‘cats) I’m back!  I managed to drag my ever-lovin-expanding body out of bed this morning to waddle my way through 7.5km of pure magic.

No snow.  No ice.  No problem.  A January miracle!  Kind of.  It turns out that not only is eleven days of non-running not awesome for your fitness level, it’s also not awesome for your motivation level.

After my big finish a few weeks ago, the plan was to take a few days off from running.  A. few. days.   But because I am “goal oriented” (read: lazy unless I’ve forked over at least $60 for a race or have publicly committed myself to some retardo goal) that plan quickly morphed into sleeping in everyday, not working out at all, and generally being the antithesis of new year’s resolutions.  Most people buck up on January 1st, whereas I was busying myself with ways to incorporate melted cheese into every meal. (PS – totally doable)  But with a snow storm about to land on our doorsteps tonight, I decided that the streak would end today.

And it wasn’t that bad.  It was actually kind of nice.  No pressure, no desperate distance, no pace required.  I just ran until I didn’t feel like running anymore.  I ran like a regular person (or Forrest Gump if you will), rather than some kind of kilometer junkie trying to get her fix.  So last year.

BUT!  Was it wonderful enough to convince me to tackle 2012km in 2012?  Nope.  Not even close.  So you see that little ticker on the upper right-hand side of the page…ignore it.  I just can’t think of what I want to put there yet.  It’ll likely be a picture of myself or something as equally awesome.

Enough said.

So what are my goals for 2012?  (Because just relying on my own discipline and motivation are clearly not going to cut it.)  Without further ado…

Seriously...that's it.

Yep.  Setting the bar at “realistic” for this year.  I’ve had a few of these on my to-do list for awhile (*cough* wedding vows *cough*) so what better way to follow through than to publicly announce them?!

As for running and fitness goals?  Welp, I’m just not ready to commit to anything for a year yet, so in the meantime…here we go:

January-February goals (a bite size time frame, if you will) are to run at least x2/week and do Body Pump/weights twice a week.  I figure that’s enough to get me out of bed at least. Also, I’m back to teaching endurance spin each week (yay! I’ve missed you bikey!), so I figure now is the best time to mix up my workouts before I get the racing bug this spring.

That’s how early 2012 is shaping up for me.  What about you?  What’s your plan?  What are you hoping to accomplish this year (besides teaching me how to drive standard)?

Stay tuned for a non-running December/holiday re-cap!  What’s the big news, and more selfishly, what did I get for Christmas!?!  Anticipation!

Sweaty-betty beats, please

A quick favour, por favor?

Your favey-faviest music to sweat to?  I’ve got a few long runs ahead of me before this race and am in NEED of SPEED (tunes).  Mostly so that I can blissfully rock out whilst forgetting that my legs are made of frosting and vodka (coincidentally, my two favourite food groups).

Lay ’em on me…I’m taking all suggestions for this Road2Hope-I-don’t-die-race playlist.  Except for Nickelback or Rush.  Don’t make me kick your shins.  Your prize for contributing?  Full credit/bragging rights/street cred/gangsta props when I share my hustling list with y’all.

September is the new spring

Little devils

Ugh.  See them? Those sneaky orange tinged leaves peaking out from the big, beautiful summery foliage.  Little devils.   Truthfully, I would fully embrace fall if it wasn’t the gateway to craptastic winter…but it is, hence my love-hate with autumn.

But with the departure of tan lines, bonfires and flip-flops comes the arrival of… BOOTS!  Kidding…sort of.  Boots, but also apple picking, pumpkin flavoured everything and cool, crisp morning runs.  School is back in, workers are back to work, and the mellow days of summer have drifted away.  Let’s face it, fall is the new spring! New beginnings!  So here’s how I’m getting back into the swing of things too…

Making progress…

So how goes the running?  Well, I’m hovering just under 60% complete, which means if I continue to knock off about 50km each week I’ll hit 2011km by the end of the year!  Huzzah!  Hold onto your hats, here comes the math…

808km remaining ÷ 16 weeks remaining = 50.5km weekly

Carry the seven...two to the power of...

And just how am I keeping such accurate records of all of this mileage?  Well I’ve welcomed a new member into my little running entourage…

Helloooo to being tracked by NASA and the like

After the tragic end of Original Garmin and a few months of freeloading Hooles’ Garmin, and don’t forget putting up with annoying eBay shipping headaches, I’ve finally put my shiny new Garmin to work!  Good news because there is no more guesstimating and rounding down (every meter counts people!), but also bad news because now I’m getting a daily reminder of how painfully slow I am.  It’s true what they say, ignorance is bliss.  (But so is Baskin Robbins and that makes me feel much better about myself.  Blissfully ignorant.)

New Garmin is much flashier with all sorts of buttons and beeping and lasers and such, but I think my fave feature is that it’s about half the size.  (That what she…nevermind) Original Garmin was like running with the Zach Morris cell phone of training devices.  New Garmin is so sleek! (Comparatively speaking because it is still quite massive.  But how else can NASA and the FBI track my every move?)

Kelly, grab your leg warmers & meet me at The Max

W.I.N.E. club is back!

After a few “relaxed” months, we are kicking the lid off of WINE club again!  How is a wine club supporting a healthy lifestyle you ask?  Much to my chagrin and most people’s surprise, there is zero alcohol involved.  I know, right?!  Affectionately known as “Fatties in the basement” by my supportive husband, WINE club is a poor, lazy woman’s Weight Watchers.  Weighing In, No Excuses started when Dudes, Red and I decided that we wanted to be accountable for our fitness goals and definitely didn’t want to pay for it.  So after a few months at a different club that just wasn’t working for us (i.e. we didn’t care if 80 year old women judged us for eating extra pie = no motivation to eat less pie), we branched off on our own and started WINE club.  Basically we meet up once a week in Dudes’ basement to weigh in and whine about work, life, other people, etc.  And when the mood strikes us (like in fresh start September!) we set a few personal goals and help each other to stick with them.  So we’re hot to trot and back to WINE…and a new member to boot…welcome Hedgie!  So next time you see one of us, ask how the WINE club goals are going and maybe even about membership!  We’re always open to new people shaming us into exercising! (Maybe…it depends how good you are at it. No one likes a judgey-wudgey bear)

And finally, what else is happening in this springy September?

VACAY!

Muffin and I are heading out to the ol’ west to visit the McKivies…finally!  Just when everyone is back to work, we’re getting out of dodge.  Stupendous…and a classic move by us.

The McKivies!

I can’t wait to spend some QT with some of my very favourite peeps.  So hang on to your underoos for an extra few days and I’ll be back to regale you with tales of our adventures…plus a couple of new things that are in the works for FunnerRunner.  I told ya, September is the new spring…things are happening!

PS – Happy 50th post to me!  And you were all a part of this momentous occasion…lucky duckies!

PPS – I’ll be updating the Kickin’ Asphalt page post-vacation.  I’m just too non-committal whimsical to plan my workouts when I’m supposed to be playing.

Current crushes

Time is marching on and so am I.  Let me tell ya though, it was touch and go there for awhile.  I truly thought that even getting to 50% was a pipe dream.  Having said that, it feels like things have turned a corner and I’ve rejuvenated a passion…well, vague interest…well, not a total hatred and bitterness for running.  So what’s getting me through these days?  Here’s my list of [insert Oprah voice here] “FUNNERRUNNER’S FAAAAAVOURITE THIIIIIINGS!!”

1) Lululemon’s Run: Speed Short and No Show Sock

Clearly not my abs

Just like these but browner and stinkier

Yes, I justify spending moula on haspansive Lululemon because it’s pretty and I work out a bit.  But also very justifiable because, not only does it make your bum look the best it ever will, it’s stellar quality.  So magical bum enhancing power and non-stinking-chafing-pilling fabric  (and did I mention the bum thing?) = worth every penny in my book.  I have running capri’s that I have owned for years and they still show zero evidence of wear and tear.  But my current love affair is with my new (on sale!) Run: Speed Shorts.  If you like running around all ‘neked’ or at least assume that you’d like to run with the same reckless abandon of a toddler, get yourself a pair of these super shorts.  They are light and airy – even when drenched in 35°C sweat.  Running is much more pleasant when you aren’t drowning in swassy shorts.  Ditto for the socks.  The lovely McKivies spoiled me with TWO pairs of these ultra-thin, silky socks (not really silk though, that would be weird.  Pimp, but weird) for my birthday.  Somehow I manage to wear these socks for every workout!  I’ll save you the math on that one…yes, I’m wearing dirty socks repeatedly throughout the week.  Worth it.  But just don’t stand next to me in BodyPump class.

2) Audiobooks on my iPod…or more specifically, The Help.

The Distraction

Boy howdy, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!  I have no idea what that really means, but what I mean is that since downloading this audiobook last week, I crave running.  Kind of.  I’m only allowed to listen to ‘my stories’ while running, so I need to get out and pound the pavement to get my fix.  Tricky huh?  And yes, the story is great and the narration is entertaining, but what I really think that I am in lova-love with is the welcome distraction.  A 90 minute run is over before I know it, and that dear friends, is a beautiful thing.  As I not-so subtly alluded to in a previous post, running is getting a bit monotonous.  Same routes, same songs, same unpredictable geese…kilometre after kilometre.  But the drawbacks of audiobooks are that I’m probably not getting any faster or smarter out there.  But I’m not training for a race or Nobel Prize, so no harm no foul right?  All that matters is that I’m actually looking forward to runs again…even if I’m narrowly escaping getting hit by cars as a trot around happily distracted.

3) Man v Food

You get me, man.

This has nothing to do with running, but I’m loving this show.  But has anyone checked his cholesterol lately?

4) The Smoyce’s

Team Smoyce!

Also nothing to do with running.  But after *ahem* a couple of years, these crazy kids are finally getting hitched!  Long live LOVE!

5) 1005.5km baby!

A very accurate reenactment of my half way moment

Half way Poptarts!!  Nothing feels as good as half way does…except all the way.  That what she said.  (C’mon…you would have said it too…)

And finally…

6) These two cracker jacks.  Because I’m usually crushing on both of them all of the time.

...and because he's the reno king

...and because she is a great helper.

Don’t forget that I’m updating the Kickin’ asphalt page each week with workout wrap ups and plans.  Check it out and keep me accountable…ish.