Category Archives: Bootmans, etc.
Lemme tell ya…I jelly bean’d it up this weekend!
First, there was my 10k Jelly Bean virtual race on Friday. I would love to give you a riveting race recap, but essentially I ran the same 10k route that I have been running for years. Surprises that don’t involve me opening presents don’t really interest me, so I usually stick to what I know won’t kill my legs or get me lost in the ghettos of the P-dot. Same wonderful slight decline at the start, same creepy cemetery to make me hustle up, same main street riffraff to elbow through. I was feeling pretty good, despite having Body Pumped and ran with the lovely Hooles the day before. And sadly in this case, feeling good = not an awesome finishing time for me. I clocked a sluggish 57:45…but in reality was just trying to justify extra jelly bean consumption over the next three days. So, the Jelly Bean 10k – a success!
Moving onwards and upwards (actually eastwards) to the family homestead for the long weekend / excessive food binge coma…
As MY LOYAL READERS would know, I don’t run well at Mimded and Eduardo’s house. It’s scary, it’s smelly and, let’s face it, I’m lazy. So in an effort to ensure that I got my not-so mini egg’d rear out on the pavement, I made plans with Harv, my high school bestie, to take on the Jelly Bean 5k together! (The Jelly Bean race has four events to choose from: a 5k, 10k, 21k run and 21k bike. You can do as many or as few as you like.) After she untangled herself from the small village of babies that occupy her living room (aka her offspring) we were off. At this point I was happy to be running, but so, so, so happy to be running with Harvalicious. It was so good to catch up, even if we were wheezing throughout the whole gossip session. Between my Thursday reunion with Hooles and my race with Harv – I was in running buddy heaven! Two running dates with best girlies in one week?! Yes, please! It makes me wonder why I tackled 2011km all on my lonesome? (I’m an idiot is basically all I could come up with too) So the Jelly Bean 5k – a success!
Obviously the rest of my weekend was spent lounging, snorting candy and inhaling turkey and turkey related fixings (read: gravy). Plus some family fun a la Easter traditions, including egg decorating!
And one last little festive tidbit….have I mentioned that this Easter chick has one extra little jelly bean in her belly?
Yep, this FunnerRunner is meggo-preggo.
It won’t be pretty, but I’m in.
The lovely Aneta, a fellow Ontario blogger (fist-pump/ninja kick!), is co-planning a virtual run for this weekend.
I’m not going to lie….my training for the Smiths Falls half marathon next month isn’t going too swimmingly. In fact, it hasn’t really started. I’ve been happily plodding around the 7-9k mark for a few weeks now with very little ambition to crack the whip any time soon.
Enter brilliant Aneta and her brilliant little tactic to push me into double digits…or face looking like a virtual idiot (more than this blog already does). So I’m signed up for the 13k run and have BIG plans to get it done this upcoming (forecasted as balmy, balmy, balmy) Saturday in the land of fear and death traps – Mimded and Eduardo’s house!
However, I’m also a little brilliant myself (*knuckle buff*) because I’ve mapped out what should be a Cujo-free route in town vs. the terrifying terrain of country roads. So wish me luck…like Irish luck, the good stuff…as I move on into the world of double digit running for the first time in 2.5 months. Gahhh.
So who else is in? C’mon…someone else must want to drink extra green beer extra guilt free…?? Details and sign up info here!
Are you starting to wonder how I even manage to keep a job with this stellar ability to keep deadlines? Magic, I tell ya.
So no. It doesn’t look like Christmas anywhere around these parts.
(Because that’s what Christmas actually looks like around our parts)
BUT! I still want to show off my cool running swag that Santa showered me with a mere, oh, month or so ago.
procrastination ado….Christmas goodies! (…and a whole whack of less-than-professional-quality photos! Of me!)
1) Lobers – Earmuffs with built in speakers so you can plug your iPod right into them! AKA – brilliant!
I saw these once online and, as usual, they didn’t ship to Canada. (Honestly, we’re not that far…Athleta, I’m mostly looking at you.) But that crafty big sis‘ of mine managed to snag a pair for me! (We saw them at a department store in Kingston…I can find out for sure if that’s where she got them if you are interested.) But long story short…they’re awesome. Good sound quality, they stay on my head and they’re warm. Win, win, win. These beauties are especially great for people like me who LOATHE ear buds (or ear buds loathe me…but I think the feeling is pretty mutual). It’s pretty tricky to wear a toque and old school headphones and manage to look like a superstar. I mean, I can pull it off, but it takes some work.
2) Due North Traction Aids – my new favourite piece of gear.
I’ve been running for a few years now…including training throughout the winter for various races in various years (Around the Bay ’06, Miami Marathon ’07, Peterborough Half 2011) and I have never ever attempted to wear cleats, spikes, yak trax, etc. And honestly, I have no idea why. I’m guessing it’s because I’m an idiot, but nevertheless, thank you, thank you Mimded & Eduardo for tossing these magic-makers into my gift pile on a whim! And outside of running, I’m pumped to try these at bootcamp next week…but that’s a story for another day. Or month…depending on how awesome I am at blogging in my usual timely fashion.
3) Gloves – because I lost one of my other ones. Damn you , laundry monster.
Just a heads up, these are listed as men’s gloves on the MEC site. Either I have man-hands or they are a toight, toight glove for most fellas.
4) Lululemon’s Run: Inspire Crop
I also like to call these my “buttah pants” because baby, they feel as smooth as butter going on. I do own or have owned most athletic brands of pants, and NOTHING feels as great as lulu. Haspansive? Obs. Worth it? 100%. (Thank you Mama McGlone for the splurge!)
Truthfully I haven’t started this book yet. I’ve been busy working my way through a riveting chapter in US magazine about “who wore it best” so that’s been eating up a bunch of my time. No seriously, I love that I have this and will definitely be pulling it out soon as part of my “return to asphalt plan”. But for now I’ll just drool over the cover guy’s calves. Baby steps, people.
6) My one-of-a-kind medal & bib display!
Every year the Boot famille draws a name and makes one homemade gift for that person (in addition to real gifts, because unlike my Mom, some of us aren’t crafty enough to create something that would warrant being called an actual gift). And lucky-ducky me, Mimded picked my name and made me this AH.MAH.ZING. medal display! And the pockets behind it are to keep random running stuff in…Garmin, charger, ipod, etc. Genius, no? And now I’m on my way to having an Uncle Jim wall…only 6000 more medals to go!
So that’s my new(ish) running stuff…what did you get? What am I missing?! (e.g. something even better than spikes!?!)
And don’t think that I forgot…I know I mentioned awhile ago that there was BIG NEWS! So big in fact that I’ve kept it to myself for a couple of months…
…nope, I bet it’s not what you are thinking. Especially if you are my mother-in-law….
These crazy kids are getting hitched!!
I am so, so excited for you both! I love you and know that you are about to start an even more amazing adventure together! (Especially when you inevitably become our neighbors. In Ontario. Just sayin’…we Bootmans are a good time.)
“Linny, her teeth are big and green! Linny, she smell like gas-o-line! Linny, da da da Dinny! She is my sista, her birthday, I missed-a!” (but not really missed it, just love the song)
I kid because I love.
Huge smackaroo birthday kisses to the gal who tried to make me eat moths, took all of the best Mini-Pop lip-syncing songs, used “pause power” to make my poor Luigi fall down the well during heated Nintendo wars, who always got pink when I was stuck with blue…but also made me Hamburger Helper for dinner, stuck up for me against mean grade 8s, let me wear her clothes, read me “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” each year, let me tag along with her and her friends all summer long, made working at McD’s bearable, supported me through boyfriends – good, bad, and ugly, kept my secrets, (unsuccessfully) taught me how to catch mice, squirrels and other vermin with a cardboard box and string, covered for me with the ‘rentals, and made growing-up an adventure filled with a million memories.
To the definitely, unquestionably, categorically best big sister in the world – Happy Birthday.
There you have it. Goal km’s met! (Albeit via some sneaky tactics and spin-doctoring)
* I didn’t complete Sunday’s run at all. Didn’t even lace up the sneakers. Why you ask? Maybe I’m lazy? Maybe I didn’t want to be found in a ditch half-chewed to death by a ferocious dingo? Answer: a little of column A, a little of column B.
Please turn your attention to the two large red circles in the above diagram. Ahem, moving along…
It all started Saturday. I was dutifully shuffling through a 13.5km run along the, normally, painstakingly uneventful road near my parents’ house. Before I go on, a bit of context (to help get you on my side). I’m not a fan of running at the Bootman homestead. Mostly because I would rather spend my mornings sleeping off a Party Mix coma than working it off, but also because I’m a scaredy cat. Between the bears, dogs and manure stenches that I have encountered, it’s easy to talk myself out of braving the wilds of rural eastern Ontario. So to combat my (only somewhat) irrational fears, I now drive 1.5km to the end of their road and start my run from there, because until last Saturday I truly believed that bears and Cujo-like dogs only lived on gravel roads. Like the naive little city runner that I am.
Back to Saturday…at around the 12km mark or so, I heard a bark from across the road.
Me: “Surely that large, angry looking dog isn’t going to cross the highway at lightening speed towards me…”
3.4 seconds later…
Me: “GETYOURDOG!!GETYOURDOG!!GETTHISCRAZY,FOAMY,FANGY,DOGOFFMEEEEE!!!” (followed by shrieks at various decibels)
Within seconds this Cujo dog had catapulted himself across the road and had me pushed into the ditch with it’s blood-stained teeth bearing and wildly disheveled, mangy fur raised. So I screamed and screamed and then once more for good measure and only by God’s grace, it decided not to tear out my jugular and instead ran back to it’s death lair. Now I know I’m making light of this now, but it was probably one of the scariest things I have ever encountered. That dog was mean and there was no one in sight to help me. So a shout out to the Big Guy for being there, as always, even when I’m not expecting it. This little encounter made me realize that a) I have no idea what to do if attacked by a dog and b) I had a reason not to run on Sunday. Y’know, shock and all that. So Sunday was a recoup day. (Plus it turned out that I had to be on the road by 8am for a work conference and there was no way that I was getting up pre-6am on the weekend.)
**Monday run in Ottawa = FAIL. Oh I had visions of jogging along the sunny Rideau Canal and waving at the cool Ottawites through the Byward market, but I awoke to rain instead. And (gladly) retreated to my plush upgraded suite’s king size bed at the Westin for a few more hours of indulgent sleep. Decadent! But no 5k for me and two recoup days in a row!
*** Thursday’s quick run…I did 4k instead of the 5k I had planned because it was hot and disgusting. Yes, even at 5:30am.
**** So by now you may be wondering how the crap I SURPASSED my weekly km goal with all this skipping and excuse making? You see, I know me pretty well. And because I know me pretty well, I built in two “cheat” days. I didn’t plan any workouts for the weekend and then used them in my “tally”. Get used to it because that’s how I roll. (Spoiler alert: you’ll notice on week two’s plan I have “OFF” for both weekend days. Muwahaha…)
Linny and I are THE luckiest gals in the world to have a fella like Eduardo for a dad.
Eddy, Eduardo, Pops, Dad…
Thanks for your funny side, your silly side, your loving and thoughtful side. Your advice and compassion. For patience and prayers. For loving us unconditionally. For saying no when you had to. For creating memories filled with love and laughter. For teaming up with Mom to build an amazing family. Thanks for being you.
Happy, happy Father’s Day! You deserve a parade. Or at least some “croquignole à la cannelles”.
Seriously? I don’t care if you are a runner or not…that forecast stinks worse than B.O. & wet dog combined. How is it that Mother Nature can be so, so cruel? Isn’t it bad enough that we’ve suffered through FIVE of the FREAKINLONGESTDAYSEVERRRR in the office and now that it’s time to play, she’s gonna to stick it to us? Low blow, lady…low blow.
I’m super pissy about the rain for a number of reasons…so let the whine-o saga begin…
ONE!! (Typically would just be “#1″…but I’m angry and yelling each point) The Bootman’s (us) are heading to Perth this weekend to spend two and half glorious days with la famille. We didn’t get a chance to shower the lovely Mimded with rainbows and puppies and homemade macaroni cards last weekend, so we’re making up for it. Rain interferes with this plan because our traditional summer visits include, in no particular order: croquet (which I love/hate), newly added bocce ball (love!), letting Piper run FREE in the fields sans leash (she loves) and a deeeelish BBQ (um, lova lova loooove…duh). Do any of these activities sound even remotely fun in the midst of the above-noted forecast? Blah. Pfffffft. Hrumph. Let’s hope we don’t all go cray-cray jammed in the basement trying to convince Eduardo to change the channel to anything other than English-dubbed (if we’re lucky) Bollywood musicals. (I’d love to say that’s an exaggeration, but with only six channels to choose from, his bar is set fairly low.) So, stay tuned to see who shanks who first! (**Horse tranquilizers…crunch, crunch**)
TWO!! I’m STILL behind in my quest for 1000km by July. (I know, I know, hard to believe…what with all of the sleeping in and Lucky Charms eating.) I’m putting in some decent runs but I was super counting on this weekend to clock off a 20k and then another 10k if I was feeling up for it. Egads, we all know that I don’t need another ‘rental weekend running failure attempt on the treadmill. So I’ve decided that given I’m only 50% made of sugar (the other 50% is a combination of spice and everything nice…and cream cheese), I’m not likely to melt in the downpour. I’m psyching myself up for the worst…
and really hoping for the best…
But let’s be serious, I’m at my parents’ house, running in the rain…my worst nightmare could come true.
So here I am…putting it out there…I will run 20km this weekend unless it’s an absolute, crazy, “can’t see the road in front of me” downpour. Or I decide that I reeeeeally need to watch the end of the Littlest Hobo with my dad.
In celebration of Moms, Mamas, Mothas, Mommaroos, Mamacitas, Mama Bears, Momskis…and my very own Mimded!
Moms who irritate me…
The Moms that I will likely relate to…
“Because I said so” Moms…
And of course, my dearest, most superb, hipster, cool-cat, lovely gem of a momma… MIMDED!
And to all of my other amazing, gorgeous, faboo Momma friends! Happy, happy Mother’s Day!
And to the many, many other faboo Mom’s that I know…have a relaxing day! xoxo
May your feet never sweat,
your neighbor give you ne’re a treat.
When flowers bloom, I hope you’ll not sneeze,
and may you always have someone to squeeze!
(Apparently) An Irish blessing
Clearly I am not Irish (just like 98% of green beer guzzlers in pubs right now) but I’m married to Muffin. Who thinks he is. According to the grapevine (read: him) there used to be an “O” in front of his last name. Bit of a stretch, but I’ll let O’Muffin have this one because it’s fun to pretend…just like I pretend that Gerard Butler is Irish. And madly in love with me.
Before I launch into the first, and probably not the last, edition of “Random thinking and inklings Thursday!”, a little running recap. I had a good week, despite the nasty side effects of daylight savings, which I’ve been milking for the past 4 days. This morning I even eeked out 21km BEFORE WORK!! Whaa, whaaat? In fact, the run felt good. Suspiciously good for a half-marathon distance at 5:30am. The conditions were great, except for the sporadic sneaky layer of glistening ice (think Edward Cullen…sparkly yet lethal) and the temperature downright balmy. I actually felt strong as “Soul clap!” brought me in through the last kilometre. So this leads me to believe one of two things. 1) I dreamt it or 2) I need to start pushing a little harder. I’ve been taking my long runs pretty easy (this morning was a 5:28 pace) so I think I need to step up my game a bit. I’m practically Kenyan, I know! Actually that is a great segue into my random ramblings! Except not really, but I can’t think of anything else.
Why I needed to run 21km at 5:30am = Because I have a super-wicked weekend planned and don’t need the guilt and shame of skipping runs looming over my festivities. PS – sneak peek into the weekend includes dancing shoes, drinking hat, SATURFUNDAY!, and whatever else the opposite of running is.
Why the guilt? Because I crunched some numbers. (Athletic and brainy and an amazing singer?! Why yes, “Triple Threat” is on my resume.) Turns out that week 26 (halfway through the year for you non-mathematicians) isn’t that far away. I’d lova love to hit 1000km by that last week of June. Soooo, that means I need to average about 43km a week. Every week. FOREVER. By the way, that’s a marathon. Every week. FOREVER. Crap.
Why I will be limiting my use of the word “crap”. My ‘rentals finally got high speed! Yes, high speed internet. The kind of internet that the rest of us having been using since the late ’90s. Mimded informed me that one day she counted how many times I used the cr*p word or any variation of it. (includes cr*ppy, cr*ppola, cr*pped, cr*apper, etc.) (Those don’t count in the tally – they are for demonstrative purposes only!) So in an effort to miraculously prove my mother wrong, I decided to Wordle my blog.
The gist of a Wordle is that the bigger the word, the more often it is used. Or something like that. See? Crap is waaaay smaller than “run” or “race” or “Piper” (am I that girl? Ew). Although Mimsy might not be thrilled with the orange arrow target either…
Speaking of la famille…my old(er) sister started bootcamp! You see this is big news because unlike her dumpy younger sister who has been dragging her doughy trunk-junk to the gym since she was 18, Linny hasn’t had to exercise…ever. She’s naturally petite and has big boobs. And she’s lucky that I even talk to her. So imagine my delight when she disclosed to me (and now I am disclosing to all of you) that she literally barfed on her first day of bootcamp!
Looks like Linny needs less of this…
And more of this…
Of course, I am rooting for her to stick with it. It’s good for the heart and mind. And, obs, I’m crossing my fingers that some of the slimming effects will be directed at her rack. Heh. (Editor’s note: Linny has also quit smoking and despite the author’s distasteful sense of humour, she is wildly happy for her sis’ new commitment to the gym and pink lungs!)
And with that I bid ya “Top o’ tha Mornin!” because that is the only Irish thing I can come up with. I better ask O’Muffin for some tips on being fake Irish. Also, I leave you with this pic that was snapped of me during my run this morning…
(Thanks to PB Fingers for the link)
Wait, how about my attempt at Irish cooking…Lucky Charms bars. Sláinte!