Category Archives: 2011 progress

Flashback: December (aka my little slice of hell)

Just in case y’all were wondering how December shaped up…I managed to log a few miles.

Procrastination at its finest


2011km in 2011

12 months

Four seasons

154 runs

A bazillion eye rolls and “stupid, stupid, stupid” self-talks

Three Garmins

Don't judge my was very snowy. And slow. And gross.

2011.59 km

One happy FunnerRunner

Hooray…2011km in the books!  No sweat…easy as pie…let’s do it all again.

Actually, no.  Not at all.  Just ask Muffin…someone was not an easy gal to be around these last few weeks.  Ahem.

Looking back (feeling nostalgic already and it’s only been 3 days), it wasn’t so much the distance that was tough…any marathoner could have easily done over 2000km in one year – no problemo (just ask SkinnyRunner who ran over 2500 MILES this year…and wasn’t trying to).  For me the tricky part of this challenge was sticking with something for an entire year.  As I’ve mentioned a few times before, I’m a bit of a quitter.  Especially when July rolled around and my coveted half way mark was waaaay off in the distance, yes -that would have been a lovely time to “twist my ankle” and throw in the towel.

But!  Guess why I didn’t?  Because so many people were so, so, so annoying amazing in asking me what was up, how I was doing, why my bum was so large if I was supposedly running so much, etc.  There was no way I could quit when so many people believed in me.

(Cue Bette Midler)

Seriously though, from folks that I haven’t talked to since high school to absolute strangers, every comment, page view, “way to go!” and ‘like’ helped me along!  I’m not going to start listing people, but you all know who you are…thanks, thanks, thanks!

And given that I was such a huge, angry, whiny baby during my last three runs because it actually SNOWED…in DECEMBER…in CANADA?!…BARF...I am so, so grateful for good weather.  Sorry everyone who was wishin’ and hopin’ for a white Christmas because I was totally rooting against that pipe dream.  Sorry ’bout your luck.

A sincere shout out to the Big Guy (no, not Muffin in this case) for good health, an injury free year and for lighting a fire under me when I wasn’t feeling it.

Muffin, a thousand thanks for putting up with my bipolar attitude towards running, my running gear shopaholicism, my limping, my races and for letting me share it all on the internet!  I would be a lazy bum if it weren’t for you.  And I’m pretty sure I’m about to become one, so yeah…hope you are getting used to seeing me in these Lulu joggers.

And lastly, how can I say thanks to the people who let me write about them, post their beautiful mugs all over the place, steal their photos, poke fun at their expense, etc.?  I can’t do it justice, so to show my gratitude I’ll continue to use you as blog fodder for another year or so.  You’re welcome!

Welp, if this was the Oscars the cheesy music would have cut me off a long time ago, so cheers to 2011km and cheers to you all!

What’s up for 2012?  I’m taking suggestions…but will likely just write about my adventures from the living room, so don’t get too creative.

The last lap

2011km jogged and logged.  Done and done!  Full recap to come once I get my face out of the champagne.

Home stretch!

It’s been a long time coming, but I’m down to just FIVE running days and 42km left before the end of this challenge.  It was touch and go there for awhile (read: the first 9 months of the year) but *fingers crossed, DONOTJINXTHIS!!* things are looking pretty good.

So for the next few days, I’m on a mission.  Mother nature…yeah, you…I’m watching you like a hawk.

Outta my way

The forecast is a bit sketchy this week, but thankfully, it’s really the only foreseeable things that will stand in the way of me reaching 2011km by Saturday.

Hoping for a better ending than this

But who knows, I could come down with food poisoning and a complete case of the lazy’s…you just never know.


But seeing as though I am planning on treating myself to something awfully special, like a car or Vespa so that I never have to even consider running again once this challenge is over, I am highly motivated.

Wish me luck and stay tuned!  (Or instead of just useless wishing, you could fly me somewhere with dry pavement and sunny rays for the next 40-ish kms…B-Mac, I’m looking at you…)


Whether it’s crunching numbers or crunch time or crunch me up a vicodin-codeine-baby tylenol-flintstonevitamin cocktail…my world is all about crunch right now.

So December has arrived…despite my zealous attempts at “willing” it not to.  I’m T-31* days until the big eagle lands.  For you non-marine types, that means that I’ve got a mere 30 more days to haul this hiney through a *few* more kilometres.  (*update, I’ve had this in “draft” for awhile and am now at 28 days.  Yes!  Equally as lazy in writing and running.)

Let’s see how the past 11 months have gone…and if my past performance will be an indicator of the next month.  Fingers crossed that it’s not.

Off to a swimming bright eyed and bushy-tailed. So naive.

So basically, you can ignore most of the above image.  What we’re interested in is the monthly “Total kilometers”.  That’s it.  Mostly because after January, I quit recording other activities and times.  I quickly realized that I don’t care about anything other than building mileage.

Pushing through the winter horror

I think the realization of how awful this idea was started to set in about mid-February.

Back on the gravy train!

Clearly my priorities are back in order!  Actually this is pre-Jamaica so it was a last ditch effort to literally run my ass off.


Clearly, Jamaica + rum + running does not exist in my world.

Back to dry sidewalks!

Hooray – spring has sprung!  However, I would still love to go back to my “May self” and say, “Self, it’s a beautiful, warm spring day.  Get your whiny ass out of bed so that your “December self” doesn’t want to cut you in the face.  Mmmkay?”

Another "race" month

Having a race month is pretty much just giving myself permission to lie around and “taper” and then lie around some more while “recuperating”.  Genius at the time.  Now?  Not so much.


Not too shabby…considering all of the camping, birthday binge drinking and whatnot.  If I recall, I had high hopes of hitting the halfway point at around, say, half of the way.  I’m pretty sure we all know how that turned out…

Panic starts to set in

After a disappointing first half/missed the mark, I clearly started to panic around August.  Turns out that fear is an excellent motivator for me!  Made it halfway!

Running and cowboys

Obviously I’m not one of those (irritating) people who can run and vacation at the same time.  Nope.  Those two activities and this gal just don’t mix.  I prefer my vacations straight up…all booze and sugar, with little to no movement unless you count dancing on stools.

Kickin' asphalt...finally.

Things are getting serious up in here.  October was all about desperately trying to catch the last of 2011’s decent weather and getting ready for Hamilton.  Even getting skunked didn’t slow this all-star down too much.  Actually it did, but whatevs.

Home stretch-ish

Which brings us to the end of November.  Magically, snow and other miscellaneous devil weather has managed to find some other province to torment – so I guess all of my chanting and bribing really paid off.

*Update – this week actually ended up at 78.05km.  I was just way too super lazy to get another screen shot.  Sorry…but not really.

So as the days fly by I’ll be sure to keep y’all posted.  Because I’m sure you are all just as fascinated by numbers and tables and calendars and calculators as I am.  Just. as. interested.

Need more FunnerRunner in your life? Good news for you!

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned that there are some new things in the works for FR. Has it been driving you crazy with anticipation? What, you’re not sleeping well? You’re drafting angry messages to me to relieve your frustrations? Well the wait is over…

*Clark Griswold drumroll*

…and it may or may not have been worth it…


I’m writing another blog! Huzzah!

No seriously. Someone is actually going to pay me (slightly over!) a penny for my thoughts. Besides my full-time employer that is.

I'm very busy and important.

A few weeks ago I pitched an idea to the Editor-in-chief of the local newspaper, Peterborough This Week, about writing a fitness blog as part of their community columns.  And my smooth marketing talents worked!  A blog was born…enter The Exercise Diaries.  So scoot on over to see what’s shakin’ on the local sweat scene in this city.  Or just to laugh at my excessive uncoordination as I fumble, fall, and curse my through various athletic pursuits…and the inevitable hospital visits that ensue.  Or just c’mon by because the more readers I get, the more pennies I get.  (Selling out like it’s my mf’n job.  Yeah buddy.)

On an unrelated note, it turns out that I have 88 days to run 719km.  So yeah, that’s how that is going.  But seriously, who’s going to pay me to finish this god awful challenge… anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?

(Did I mention that you can pay me in Skittles?)

My new fridge art.

September is the new spring

Little devils

Ugh.  See them? Those sneaky orange tinged leaves peaking out from the big, beautiful summery foliage.  Little devils.   Truthfully, I would fully embrace fall if it wasn’t the gateway to craptastic winter…but it is, hence my love-hate with autumn.

But with the departure of tan lines, bonfires and flip-flops comes the arrival of… BOOTS!  Kidding…sort of.  Boots, but also apple picking, pumpkin flavoured everything and cool, crisp morning runs.  School is back in, workers are back to work, and the mellow days of summer have drifted away.  Let’s face it, fall is the new spring! New beginnings!  So here’s how I’m getting back into the swing of things too…

Making progress…

So how goes the running?  Well, I’m hovering just under 60% complete, which means if I continue to knock off about 50km each week I’ll hit 2011km by the end of the year!  Huzzah!  Hold onto your hats, here comes the math…

808km remaining ÷ 16 weeks remaining = 50.5km weekly

Carry the seven...two to the power of...

And just how am I keeping such accurate records of all of this mileage?  Well I’ve welcomed a new member into my little running entourage…

Helloooo to being tracked by NASA and the like

After the tragic end of Original Garmin and a few months of freeloading Hooles’ Garmin, and don’t forget putting up with annoying eBay shipping headaches, I’ve finally put my shiny new Garmin to work!  Good news because there is no more guesstimating and rounding down (every meter counts people!), but also bad news because now I’m getting a daily reminder of how painfully slow I am.  It’s true what they say, ignorance is bliss.  (But so is Baskin Robbins and that makes me feel much better about myself.  Blissfully ignorant.)

New Garmin is much flashier with all sorts of buttons and beeping and lasers and such, but I think my fave feature is that it’s about half the size.  (That what she…nevermind) Original Garmin was like running with the Zach Morris cell phone of training devices.  New Garmin is so sleek! (Comparatively speaking because it is still quite massive.  But how else can NASA and the FBI track my every move?)

Kelly, grab your leg warmers & meet me at The Max

W.I.N.E. club is back!

After a few “relaxed” months, we are kicking the lid off of WINE club again!  How is a wine club supporting a healthy lifestyle you ask?  Much to my chagrin and most people’s surprise, there is zero alcohol involved.  I know, right?!  Affectionately known as “Fatties in the basement” by my supportive husband, WINE club is a poor, lazy woman’s Weight Watchers.  Weighing In, No Excuses started when Dudes, Red and I decided that we wanted to be accountable for our fitness goals and definitely didn’t want to pay for it.  So after a few months at a different club that just wasn’t working for us (i.e. we didn’t care if 80 year old women judged us for eating extra pie = no motivation to eat less pie), we branched off on our own and started WINE club.  Basically we meet up once a week in Dudes’ basement to weigh in and whine about work, life, other people, etc.  And when the mood strikes us (like in fresh start September!) we set a few personal goals and help each other to stick with them.  So we’re hot to trot and back to WINE…and a new member to boot…welcome Hedgie!  So next time you see one of us, ask how the WINE club goals are going and maybe even about membership!  We’re always open to new people shaming us into exercising! (Maybe…it depends how good you are at it. No one likes a judgey-wudgey bear)

And finally, what else is happening in this springy September?


Muffin and I are heading out to the ol’ west to visit the McKivies…finally!  Just when everyone is back to work, we’re getting out of dodge.  Stupendous…and a classic move by us.

The McKivies!

I can’t wait to spend some QT with some of my very favourite peeps.  So hang on to your underoos for an extra few days and I’ll be back to regale you with tales of our adventures…plus a couple of new things that are in the works for FunnerRunner.  I told ya, September is the new spring…things are happening!

PS – Happy 50th post to me!  And you were all a part of this momentous occasion…lucky duckies!

PPS – I’ll be updating the Kickin’ Asphalt page post-vacation.  I’m just too non-committal whimsical to plan my workouts when I’m supposed to be playing.

Current crushes

Time is marching on and so am I.  Let me tell ya though, it was touch and go there for awhile.  I truly thought that even getting to 50% was a pipe dream.  Having said that, it feels like things have turned a corner and I’ve rejuvenated a passion…well, vague interest…well, not a total hatred and bitterness for running.  So what’s getting me through these days?  Here’s my list of [insert Oprah voice here] “FUNNERRUNNER’S FAAAAAVOURITE THIIIIIINGS!!”

1) Lululemon’s Run: Speed Short and No Show Sock

Clearly not my abs

Just like these but browner and stinkier

Yes, I justify spending moula on haspansive Lululemon because it’s pretty and I work out a bit.  But also very justifiable because, not only does it make your bum look the best it ever will, it’s stellar quality.  So magical bum enhancing power and non-stinking-chafing-pilling fabric  (and did I mention the bum thing?) = worth every penny in my book.  I have running capri’s that I have owned for years and they still show zero evidence of wear and tear.  But my current love affair is with my new (on sale!) Run: Speed Shorts.  If you like running around all ‘neked’ or at least assume that you’d like to run with the same reckless abandon of a toddler, get yourself a pair of these super shorts.  They are light and airy – even when drenched in 35°C sweat.  Running is much more pleasant when you aren’t drowning in swassy shorts.  Ditto for the socks.  The lovely McKivies spoiled me with TWO pairs of these ultra-thin, silky socks (not really silk though, that would be weird.  Pimp, but weird) for my birthday.  Somehow I manage to wear these socks for every workout!  I’ll save you the math on that one…yes, I’m wearing dirty socks repeatedly throughout the week.  Worth it.  But just don’t stand next to me in BodyPump class.

2) Audiobooks on my iPod…or more specifically, The Help.

The Distraction

Boy howdy, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!  I have no idea what that really means, but what I mean is that since downloading this audiobook last week, I crave running.  Kind of.  I’m only allowed to listen to ‘my stories’ while running, so I need to get out and pound the pavement to get my fix.  Tricky huh?  And yes, the story is great and the narration is entertaining, but what I really think that I am in lova-love with is the welcome distraction.  A 90 minute run is over before I know it, and that dear friends, is a beautiful thing.  As I not-so subtly alluded to in a previous post, running is getting a bit monotonous.  Same routes, same songs, same unpredictable geese…kilometre after kilometre.  But the drawbacks of audiobooks are that I’m probably not getting any faster or smarter out there.  But I’m not training for a race or Nobel Prize, so no harm no foul right?  All that matters is that I’m actually looking forward to runs again…even if I’m narrowly escaping getting hit by cars as a trot around happily distracted.

3) Man v Food

You get me, man.

This has nothing to do with running, but I’m loving this show.  But has anyone checked his cholesterol lately?

4) The Smoyce’s

Team Smoyce!

Also nothing to do with running.  But after *ahem* a couple of years, these crazy kids are finally getting hitched!  Long live LOVE!

5) 1005.5km baby!

A very accurate reenactment of my half way moment

Half way Poptarts!!  Nothing feels as good as half way does…except all the way.  That what she said.  (C’mon…you would have said it too…)

And finally…

6) These two cracker jacks.  Because I’m usually crushing on both of them all of the time.

...and because he's the reno king

...and because she is a great helper.

Don’t forget that I’m updating the Kickin’ asphalt page each week with workout wrap ups and plans.  Check it out and keep me accountable…ish.

Surprisingly, not a quitter!

“Hey, wasn’t this “runner” going to post her workouts so that we could judge, shame and guilt her into exercising?”

Have no fear!  I’m still posting my workout plans and re-caps, but being the organized/sneaky thing that I am, you’ll no longer find them on this main page. Handy, I know!

Check out the new tab at the top of the page “Kickin’ asphalt” to see what I’ve got up my sleeve and if I’m actually following through with any of it.  I was just thinking that constantly bombarding my dear readers with tables and lists would get awfully boring after about one second.  Like more than my usual musings.  Ahem.

So, you’re welcome!  More work for you and an easier way for me to hide from my running commitments…win-win! (Shame – this girl has none)

What if you are a sloth?


Before I chicken out…

…here’s my “Kick asphalt!” torture plan for the week. Normally I wouldn’t run almost everyday (obviously or else I wouldn’t be in this stupid predicament) but I’m just try to play a bit of catch up over the next couple of weeks.  Wish me luck!

(PS – lots of excuses tied into this plan already…but hey, are you surprised?) 

(PPS – that was a test!  NO EXCUSE ENABLING!)

(PPPS – anyone looking for an unmotivated, whiny, but HELLUVA good dancer, running partner?  I’m in the book.)

Without any further (ridiculous) procrastination…click to enlarge…or don’t…it’s not like I’m forcing everyone to babysit me…or am I?  *crinkly thinking face* Yep…yep I am.  Welp, here goes nothing…except my ego.  Ok seriously, I’m done.

Drumroll….the plan!

Real runners, ignore this because it's not that hard. Everyone else, humour me too please.