Monthly Archives: October 2011

Like prison, but with more push ups

Running can be a bit time consuming.  Especially if you run like me.

With all of this running /calculating km’s for running /trying to think of reasons to get out of running, the hours are flying by at a nerve-wracking pace.  (Seriously, only 67 days until the end of the year…wtf, calendar!?)  So I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the motto “if you’ve got time lean, you’ve got time to clean”.  No wait, that was my McD’s manager’s motto.  Mine is “If you’ve got time to sweat, you’ve got time to run”.  Which really means, instead of making time for weights or other cardio, go running.  Just for the next two hellish months.  Don’t get all ‘tsk, tsk‘ on me. I know this plan won’t do me any favours in the ass or abs department and, yes, it IS a fantastic way to get injured! But until that little joggin’ logger passes 2000km, it’s all running all the time.  The only other exercise my body is seeing lately are spin classes that I’m teaching and my weekly Exercise Diaries endeavour.  Needless to say, my arms look fantastic without any weight training.

My flarms, circa Monday.

Clearly, this won’t do.  Enter: The 100 Push up Challenge!  A few weeks ago,  I opened my big fat mouth and duped encouraged five of my most gullible favourite peeps to tackle this challenge with me.  And because I am a superstar marketing guru, they agreed!  Crap.

Fast forward to present – we are into Week 3.  And it ain’t easy.  Especially because my triceps have only been used to open wine bottles and tie shoelaces for the past 2 months.  Truthfully, I would have pulled the plug around mid-Week 2, but I couldn’t.  Not because I’m not a quitter (I love quitting!), but because I’m team player…and have flarms that rival turkey wings.   So how is the rest of the crew doing?  As far as I know Eduardo and Shannaners are humming along just fine.  Jerks.  BMac and Muffin?  I’m not sure they are still on this gravy train.  But now that I’ve managed to lump them in with my sad little Cabbage Patch arms, they’ll take this opportunity to play a little catch up?  Keep us posted, fellas.

And that’s where I’m at.  Run, push up, ralph, repeat.  Like prison, but with more push ups.

I'm the one with Bambi arms and dummy legs


Sweaty-betty beats, please

A quick favour, por favor?

Your favey-faviest music to sweat to?  I’ve got a few long runs ahead of me before this race and am in NEED of SPEED (tunes).  Mostly so that I can blissfully rock out whilst forgetting that my legs are made of frosting and vodka (coincidentally, my two favourite food groups).

Lay ’em on me…I’m taking all suggestions for this Road2Hope-I-don’t-die-race playlist.  Except for Nickelback or Rush.  Don’t make me kick your shins.  Your prize for contributing?  Full credit/bragging rights/street cred/gangsta props when I share my hustling list with y’all.

Road2Hope-I-don’t-keel-over-and-die Half-Marathon, here I come!

It’s official…I’m registered!

Congratulations, indeed.

There are a few reasons why I’ve decided to come out from under my rock and face the world of average-paced-runners again.

1) It’s likely one the last races of the season with the possibility of (fingers crossed) half-decent weather.  Winter is coming whether I like it or not.  Effff.

My worst nightmare

2) Monday’s 17k went off without a hitch.  Actually it was one of the quickest paces that I’ve had in quite awhile – yay 5:35.  (However, the two runs that I have done since it and since registering on Monday afternoon have been disturbingly and progressively slower.  Somehow I tricked myself into thinking I was practically in race shape…despite my summer of gluttony and sloth.  Denial, table of one please.)

PS – Speaking of summer…my October 10th long run outfit:

Look Ma, no sleeves!

Just 26°C outside…in Canada…on Thanksgiving weekend.  Totally normal, climate change skeptics. (But just FYI…weather and climate are different.)

3) But most of all, this race appealed to me because of this little nugget of information I found on the website…

The lazy girl's dream elevation

It doesn’t get much easier than that, dearies.  And I’m totally into easy.  Ahem.

So I’ve got a few weeks to pack in some long runs…this weekend 19k, next wknd 21k, followed by an 18-20k, and then race day.  It’ll be here before I know it!  Which is good because: “time = stress = lashing out at loved ones” to me.  So you’re welcome, everyone.

Also – stay tuned for updates on the new challenge that’s taking THE WORLD (actually 5 of us) by storm!

Skunked x2

Guess who didn’t run 17km as planned on Saturday?

This girl!

Guess who had an exciting encounter with a skunk at 6am on Saturday?

This girl!

In the span of about 3.7 seconds my whole Saturday went to the dog(s).  Instead of a sunny, warm long run, followed by apple picking and a hike with the family, I spent hours supply shopping, dog groomer consulting, washing, spraying, skunk-offing, more washing, cursing and one more wash with my stinker of a retriever.

Peroxide and baking soda rinse = highlights!

Haaaspansive oatmeal shampoo = nicer than mine

Wet dog AND skunk = magical

So holiday-sleep in-Monday is now 17k-hot n’sweaty-Monday…because a) I’ve got about a million miles to make up in the next few months annnnnnd b) I think I’m going to do a race!  Let’s see how I manage this long run tomorrow and I’ll make a decision from there…so by Monday evening I might be registered for the Road2Hope half-marathon in November.  Or not.  Because maybe Stinkaroni will sniff out another new BFF and I’ll spend another lovely day covering in stench and wet dog hair.  Win-win, really.

Ruining people's plans since 2008

Need more FunnerRunner in your life? Good news for you!

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned that there are some new things in the works for FR. Has it been driving you crazy with anticipation? What, you’re not sleeping well? You’re drafting angry messages to me to relieve your frustrations? Well the wait is over…

*Clark Griswold drumroll*

…and it may or may not have been worth it…


I’m writing another blog! Huzzah!

No seriously. Someone is actually going to pay me (slightly over!) a penny for my thoughts. Besides my full-time employer that is.

I'm very busy and important.

A few weeks ago I pitched an idea to the Editor-in-chief of the local newspaper, Peterborough This Week, about writing a fitness blog as part of their community columns.  And my smooth marketing talents worked!  A blog was born…enter The Exercise Diaries.  So scoot on over to see what’s shakin’ on the local sweat scene in this city.  Or just to laugh at my excessive uncoordination as I fumble, fall, and curse my through various athletic pursuits…and the inevitable hospital visits that ensue.  Or just c’mon by because the more readers I get, the more pennies I get.  (Selling out like it’s my mf’n job.  Yeah buddy.)

On an unrelated note, it turns out that I have 88 days to run 719km.  So yeah, that’s how that is going.  But seriously, who’s going to pay me to finish this god awful challenge… anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?

(Did I mention that you can pay me in Skittles?)

My new fridge art.