Thirty-one pieces of useless information

It was my birthday this week and in honour of, well, me…here are 31 things that you may or may not know about me.  Or things that you may or may not care to know about me. Hooray – fantastic reading ahead!  (By the way, 31 is a totally arbitrary number…no reason for it at all.  Like that I’m old. )

  1. My middle name is Michelle. (See? Told you that this was going to be riveting)
  2. I DETEST olives…the smell of the grocery store olive cart makes me want to heave into my basket. (Bonus tidbit: I hate using shopping carts and make Muffin push it every time)
  3. I passed my driving test on the first try and have never been pulled over by ‘the fuzz’.  However, I am ready to pull out the tears and shameless flirting when it does happen.
  4. I have never been stung by a bee.  And yet I squeal like a Deliverance victim whenever I see/hear/sense anything with a “stinger” come within 20ft of me.  (I’ve pulled over the car to jump out after having a bee dive bomb fly in the window)
  5. My pet peeves are people who wear sunglasses inside and people who talk in a fake accent.  Even if they are just kidding around (“Vunderbar!” kills me).
  6. I don’t know the real words to very many songs, however I sing like I do.  I just mumble and make sounds that resemble the real lyrics.  For example, I always thought the words to Enter Sandman were : “Excel light…ends tonight” and very recently realized that those words don’t make sense.  I googled the real words (yes, I have time to do that) and they are “Exit lightEnter night”.  Ahhh.  Very important stuff here.
  7. I had my nose pierced for almost 10 years!  (And my Dad asked me if I was a lesbian…)
  8. I **accidentally** peed my pants in a fit of laughter during one particularly funny dinner when I was, like 9, and my evil sister called me “Big Bad Mama Pee-Head” for the rest of the summer.  And for a couple of years after that…
  9. If a cashier or server forgets an item on my bill, I always tell them.  And it bothers me when I get home and realize they forgot something…karma, man.
  10. I crave dill pickle and peanut butter sandwiches.  For reals.  Try it.  But don’t get all up in my grill when you realize you are addicted.
  11. I smoked a whole cigarette to myself in grade 9 and immediately turned green and puked.  (Outside the dentist office while waiting for my friend…and smoking her cigarettes)
  12. I love it when anyone plays with my hair.  Muffin thinks that I would pay hobos to do it.  I think it’s a brilliant idea.
  13. I’m kind of sick of running.  (See what I did there? I’m trying to hide this one in the hopes that no one has actually read this far)
  14. I don’t know what paradigm shift means…and I *may* have used it in a sentence once or twice.
  15. I hated gym in high school and used to wear pj bottoms instead of shorts to prove how much I didn’t care about trampolining and badminton.  Super cool.
  16. It drives me nutters when chip bags are opened upside down or when someone eats a hamburger the wrong way (top bun on the bottom).  Sadly, I’m quite serious…I have to look away.
  17. I’m putting “learn to knit” on my to-do list…again.
  18. When I was in second or third grade (…or both) I wanted to change my name to “Tootie”, based on the snappy character from the Facts of Life.  The ‘Natalie’ character was frumpy and dorky and I considered myself to be way funkier.  But a seven year old doesn’t think big picture…my maiden name is “Boot”which would have made me “Tootie Boot”.
  19. I used to collect Disney cartoon movies and I still have all of my VHS copies.  And I still like to watch them.  C’mon…who doesn’t love The Little Mermaid on a rainy Sunday?
  20. I rarely get mosquito bites. They just don’t crave tiger blood, I guess.
  21. I MUST turn the radio station when Rush, Nickelback or Amanda Marshall come on.  They just irritate me.
  22. I love the calluses on Muffin’s hands. (He’s half muffin, half stud)
  23. My rib was cracked (or really bruised/crushed?) while trying to master the Dirty Dancing lift with Mr. Bravo in Cuba.
  24. My first job was at McDonald’s and I had a huge crush on my manager…Coooorey. Ah.
  25. I can’t decide which is worst…wet dog smell or B.O.  Sadly, I’m surrounded by both quite often.
  26. I love the Far Side.
  27. I have never seen Goonies.  Muff might call this whole marriage thing off now.
  28. When I was really young, I opened the backdoor to let our family dog out, which sadly led to her demise. (She beelined after a car and was hit)  My family still likes to tell me that I killed Ginger.  I still tell my therapist.
  29. The words “peruse” and “utilize” annoy me.
  30. I don’t mind nails on a chalkboard, but the thought of two serrated edges rubbing together (i.e. a quarter and a butter knife) gives me the heebers.
  31. Given the choice I wouldn’t do my twenties all over again, even though they hold some of my fave memories and my thighs were much thinner.  I think my thirties are going to be where it’s at.

Posted on July 8, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

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