So, I didn’t write this story, but I could have. Obviously not even remotely as funny or artistically, but this is my life. Hyperbole and a half, you get me. And my retarded dog.
I relate to this woman because…
a) our dog did not tackle the stairs for quite awhile, and still won’t tackle the basement stairs or stairs in other people’s homes. She stands at the top/bottom, with her ears all Eeyore-like, wishing she had the physical capacity to join us at the other end (ps – she does).
b) she licks everything, all the time. Not like, “Yay, you’re home!” or “This piece of jerky between the fridge and counter is delicious” licks…just random blankets, pants, walls, sidewalks, etc. Just tastin’ the world. Drives Muffin to drink. I think it’s cute…and a smidging retardo, which makes me drink. Why not?
c) when she is not licking something, she is staring at something. With her nose about an inch away…for embarrassing amounts of time. Again, a dog staring at food or a squirrel or pooh seems normal to me. A shadow, piece of paper, reflection of light on the wall with a room full of people trying to “call her” away from it…not normal.
So she’ll never win a Nobel prize or warn anyone that I’ve fallen into a well, but she’s very pretty. Anyhoo, I highly recommend that you check out the laugh-til-milk-spews-from-your-nose story from Hyperbole and half.
PS – Because this is FunnerRunner and I am still running, some quick recaps…pulled off 17k this weekend in downright balmy weather. Loves it. And another 15k this morning in stupid, not surprising now, -25C temps. I’m thinking of changing the name of this blog to “Bitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er“. Emphasis on “bitter”. Super sweet tunes for these runs…ABC (Jackson 5) and If you want blood (AC/DC). Excellent (secret) guilty pleasure songs.